Hi everyone. This is Esateys. And welcome back. Today I am going to speak about an interesting subject. Its call existential suffering. Now you may go whoa, what the heck is that? Let me try to explain this in a way that will make easy sense for you. Existential suffering is actually when internally we just do not feel fulfilled. This can show up in many many parts of our lives and we might think its because of our relationship, maybe our money isn’t working, maybe we are having difficulty with our work or with our career decisions. It can come from any area of life. But internally there is a lack of fulfillment. There is a feeling that we just do not have what it is that we really want. Now, there’s other parts of life and some people will have a thing where they will have everything. Despite their whole life seems to be working. Great relationship, no money issues, kids are really terrific, but there is still that empty hollow aching feeling. These people might be walking around with the thought in their heads like, is that all there is? What else can really happen in my life? How come I can have everything working and still not feel like I ought to be feeling? And if you are feeling that empty feeling, and you have got “reasons” then you will usually put the reason on the kids, the money, the whatever, the health, whatever that is, but the bottom core issue here is really an empty sense of disconnect. This disconnect is in every single human being. Sometimes we are aware of it, sometimes not. Sometimes we will experience this empty hollow feeling and we will look for excuses as to why it’s there because it never dawns on us that it can be coming from a sense of not really being in touch with whom it is that we truly are.
This recording, the things I am speaking about may sound a little philosophical for you and they might be out there. But it’s a very key and core issue in people’s lives. Because I have spent so much of my life working with relationships, relationship issues, many of you know I have been called a relationship expert but I have been working with people literally for over 30 years. Individuals, couples and business people. Not just relationships with their significant other. Or their children. But also with the environment or the animals, or their boss, or their job. Relationships are things that we cannot be without. In fact, every single aspect of life is about relationships. And when we look at the relationship that we have with ourselves and the relationship with the deeper core connection. We start to get warm, we cuddle up close to what it is we are speaking about today.
Quit Blaming and Start Looking Inward
This hollow feeling, this existential suffering is something that will not fulfilled no matter how successful you are, or how much money you have, no matter how great your relationship is, it doesn’t matter about any of these things. The key here is to recognize that this is a part of life. I cannot even begin to tell you how many people have come to me, recently, I have been working with somebody who said I really have it all. She is young, she has tremendous amount of success, and she’s gorgeous. She has a great relationship, beautiful children, everything is going well, and yet, there is an empty hollow unfulfilled feeling. What do we do about this? How do we deal with this existential suffering? The first thing we do is we look at what it really is. We look at how it is that we are feeling internally and instead of reaching over there or out there, for what it is that we are going to “blame it on”, we start looking internally and we start realizing that this sense of detachment or this sense of emptiness is because we are looking to connect with that real part of us. That core part of ourselves, some people call it spirit, some call it God, the Universe, whatever it is for you, is what it is that what it is we are speaking about.
Your life at the core deep beginningness of yourself is about rediscovering or reconnecting to that part of yourself that you really aren’t disconnected from at all but rather, you are in a place where you have forgotten that you are what it is that you might be seeking. Many people that have this e suffering, they will search emphatically and year after year their whole lifetime looking for that connection. They will go to gurus, to spiritual teachers, they will read every book and watch every video. They will do everything you possible can to try to fill up this place. And what they notice is that doesn’t work either. Because there is no teacher. There is no guru, no one that is going to fill that up for you. Now many times there are avenues that can lead you to deeper introspection. That deeper introspection can help you get more connected to yourself because it takes the focus away from out there blaming something in life. It sends you into yourself to start looking at what it is that you are. Who are you really? What is it that your life is really about? Is it about being all of these outer labels? The success, money, relationships and all that kind of stuff, or is about being fulfilled internally.
Every Answer Every Desire Is Within
The work I do is about helping people see that the outer work that they do is not ever going to really fulfill what it is that’s missing internally. And the work that you could externally when you are aware and focused can guide you, point you in a direction. That direction that it will always point you internally. Because internally is where you have every single thing that you need. Every answer is within yourself. Everything that you desire is from within. When you look to a relationship, no matter what it would be, another human being, money, food, drugs, there is always that desire that that relationship is going to fill you up and make your life more wonderful and more awesome. It won’t. It might give you a temporary high. It might give you a fleeting sense of happiness. But soon you will be back to the same place. Who am I? What am I doing here? Who am I?
When this is recognized, then the work that we do together is to allow yourself to recognize and learn to connect with that inner part of yourself which will allow yourself to recognize that it is all inside of you. It means that this self judgement diminishes and then is eliminated. It means that there is nothing out there or over there that needs to be changed. That your life doesn’t need to be completely restructured although sometimes we go through a whole system of trying to restructure our lives. In doing that, we become more connected to ourselves. But the true happiness isn’t going to come because of restore in your life. It’s going to come because you are more connected to your own empowerment. Your own sense of sense worth, sense of self love. It takes a lot of us to let go of the old patterns and that is why I use the term the architect of the new you. We become architects or builders of releases of old programs and ideas with what is more valid. What is more truthful? It’s already in you. It already is you. There is nowhere to go to get it. So what happens when you start to recognize that you really are a e suffering, is that you are not going to run over there to try to make it better. You are going to go within. Going within means that you spend more time breathing. Breathing in through your nose. Holding it. For the count of 5 and exhaling to the count of 5. Breath in slowly through your nose to the count of 5…hold it for the count of 5….exhale to the count of 5 and you follow that pattern. For at least 5 cycles or ideally, 5 minutes. Because when you do that, what happens is, the mind can’t keep up. It will start to think of a lot of things. But when you just notice that thought process but you do not react to it. You only focus on the breath, things quiet down. There is a peace. When your mind is not so filled with all the doingness and all the survival and all of the desperation and how to fix and make everything all better. What happens, is suddenly here, experience or feel what it is that will allow you to know this inner peace. And that e suffering fades away. There is a fulfilling sensation inside one’s self. The lack of feeling joyful and at peace is because of fear. And fear is a part of and a sensation from this e suffering. When you recognize that you have nothing to fear, there is nowhere that you need to go. There is nothing that you need to do. There is nothing that needs to change. Then what occurs is that deep sense of relaxation. A deep sense of peace. A deep sense of knowing that all is well and actually perfect completely consumes you. And you will observe the outer world as doing what it does. It’s just gonna be all the politics will be going on, all of the dramas and traumas of everyone’s life will be going on and you will be able to look at that and go wow, this is an amazing experience. This is like a movie. This is the game called life.
Get Into The Game Of Life, It’s a Wonderful Game
This is a powerful, experience. And you will start to appreciate and joining in to the game very awake. Very aware. Completely unblemished if you will. By all that goes on because you will see it for what it is. The absolute amazing experience of life. Meaning that all of the happy, sad, mad and glads are just illusionary experiences that allow us to appreciate and live life as a human being. But ultimately, it cannot harm you. You cannot die. There is nowhere for you to go. There is nothing to change. The only thing that needs to happen is to allow life to be. When you allow life to be and you do not resist anything, what occurs? You feel peaceful. You are not in resistance. Nonresistant living means that you are not fighting what is. And I know that there may be some of you saying oh, that’s easy for you to say but what if you are in an abusive relationship? Now what am I gonna do? Should I just say…OOOOHM, this is awesome. No I am not saying that. It doesn’t mean that you don’t allow yourself to feel victimized. You go here is a circumstance and whatever the inspiration that comes from within yourself is, that is what you do. So if you are inspired to get the heck out of there and go to a friend’s home or go to a halfway house or something like that, then you do that.
There are no extra points for standing in front of the semi. A term I use a lot. Meaning that there is no reason to stay in a total state of suffering and how you perceive that experience will take you from feeling suffering to one of this is just an experience. Ok. Got the experience and know something else is what I am drawn to. But there is not the hate the violence, the blame, the regret or the wanting to get back and take revenge at someone. I know I am touching on some deep concepts today. I realize that some of this may be just throwing a whole bunch of stuff up for you. I invite you to listen to this again. This is just the first of many podcasts and blogs that I am going to be doing around this. I’ll be more specific about money and how that affects us. I will be more specific with relationships and how that is intertwined with e suffering. I will speak about every area of life and how this feeling of disconnect is related to that. And how you could do certain things that will allow you to move yourself away from the resistance to those experiences and point you in the direction which is inside.
Every change in the outer world must come from the inside. The inside out. Its not about trying to change the outer world. It’s about shifting who you are or what you think, how you be and what you frame your life to be like. That will make you happy, sad, mad or glad. So I invite you to really be with what it is that I have shared today. Don’t feel badly if you just say this is a bunch of hooey. You don’t have to believe what I am saying. I am merely asking you to stay open to the possibility of what if what she said, has a little bit of truth to it. What if it was completely true? How would my life be different?
I leave you with the adventure of contemplation. I cannot wait until we connect again. Until then, remember I am you, you are me and we are one. Feel a hug.
Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.