Hi everyone.  This is Esateys.  Today I am going to speak about something that is kind of a big subject.  It won’t be the first time you hear me speak about relationship.  This kind of relationship I am going to speak about is really a broad spectrum.  Relationships come everywhere and they are with everything.  We talk about significant relationships.  We speak about the relationship with the environment, body, your children, your boss, your friends and even the things in your household.  Everything is a relationship.  I want you to take a minute right now and stop what you are doing and think about that for a moment.  Take on the profundity of what it is I am really saying.  There is nothing that you are not in relationship with.  If we are going to master relationships that means we are going to change our lives.  If we want to change our lives, then we have got to look at each and every relationship we have and we have to have awareness about what those relationships are really like.  How would we like them to be and do we think we have any control over them.  And if we had control over them, what would it look like?  How would it be that we would be in those relationships?  We have seemingly a million trillion things going on all of the time.  These things are all interacting and integrating into creating this big experience called the now.  Called your storyline or your movie or your life.  To name it.

mastering relationships

What we are going to do here is speak about all of these relationships a bit.  This means that we are going to speak about how we can do some little things that are going to really help us.  First of all because you know if you have listened to me for a while, that I always speak about awareness.  Awareness.  Awareness is really key.  Being present and in this very moment.  Being very very conscious of what is going on.  What is going on with you and in your environment?  What is going on with everything?  It means you have got to get yourself bigger if you will.  Think about a puffer fish taking a really deep breath and you get big.  When you do that, your sensory awareness increases and you have awareness.  If you just sit where you are right now or stand wherever it is that you are right now and close your eyes.  Just close your eyes and I want you to feel outside yourself a bit.  Be aware of any sounds.  Be aware the energy and the feeling nature that is outside of your arms and your legs.

Some sensitive people can even feel the energy being very intense close to their body. Some people can perceive things across the room.  Some people can even perceive things across the street, field, the planet.  Yes, there is that degree of sensitivity for many people in the world.  All of this about a relationship that you have with yourself.  The relationship with yourself allows you to drop the veils and drop that sensation of protectiveness.  The wall that we live in to help us feel safe.  The personality of life is about keeping ourselves feeling safe.  The ego’s purpose is to try to keep you safe.  It goes off on a whole other tangent.  But the core purpose is to keep you safe.  It has value.  It keeps us from walking off of a cliff or in front of a truck.  And it does develop its own programs and beliefs that then start steering us in an interesting pathway.  I am speaking about having a degree of sensitivity and awareness so that you recognize that you have a sensory perception that is bigger than whatever it is that you thought it was.  The purpose of me doing this with you today is to help you recognize that you have a relationship with your body with your energy field and everything else on the planet.

When you start to expand that and become more sensitive to that then you have the ability to perceive things in a way that is a macro view.  That sensitivity, that transparency, the veil if you will of protectiveness is thinner than it would be for those that are closed up and shut down.  When it is thinner, and more transparent, you have the ability to actually be conscious of the relationships that you have with all of life.  This might seem extreme to some of you but, I can absolutely sense, feel, and speak to plants and animals and to virtually everything in life.  I have a very thin transparent veil.  I have the ability and capability to be able to just drop my own wall.  I can sense what is going on around me.  I can sense this in other people.  I can look at them and I know the things they are feeling and thinking.  I can feel their fears and I know what it is that is going on with them.  I once was called a medical intuit because I could detect when someone’s liver was bad.  I mean seriously, I would have these kinds of information be given to me if you will.  Some of which I shared, some I didn’t.  The bottom line is we have the ability to be connected to everything and everyone.  These relationships allow us to be more connected to life.  The more connected we are to life, the more we can experience our lives differently.

This gets very tricky in our society today.  I have really watched how I get a little bit left brained.  When I am in a bit left brain, and then a little more left brain, my wall gets bigger and I don’t feel as much.  I am not as tuned in.  I have to consciously stay aware and drop that veil and settle into myself to get that same sensitivity that by nature, I have.  This means that I can’t live in my left brain.  I cannot stay in a state of logic.  I can’t fit into the box and still fit into the world in a way that I choose to fit into the world.  Does that mean I am not using my left brain?  Not at all.  I think pretty clearly.  I can count and add numbers and all kinds of things that are necessary to do.  I can really live life from that place.  I am well educated.  Many of you know I went to UCLA, I am a nurse, a life coach, and have done radio shows, a lot of things.  I had to use my left brain for many.  The reason I am emphasizing this is I don’t want you to think you need to move over to the right side and go into La la land and you can’t function.  I have been there too.  I spent about a year where I was really having a difficult time being grounded.  I was in a state where I wasn’t using my left brain much.  I was constantly in a state of really connecting to situations, energies beyond what you and I would be speaking about today.  The point of all of this is that we as human beings have the ability to go in either direction to whatever degree that we really desire to.  It all has to do with mastering yourself, your focus, your capability to be centered, and to allow your wall to come down or your wall to come up.  You have the ability to determine that.  Its fascinating to see when you can do that.  It’s like biofeedback.  It is a science that is very well known and accepted.  It’s no big secret.  They can measure how much sweat you have to the most micro level by putting these little things on your fingertips and putting little things on your head in different places.  In doing so, you can think certain things and do certain things, and lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and reduce stress.  Biofeedback is used for pain management.  The point of this is you have the ability to alter certain things in your life.  You master the relationship that you have with your body.  If you would like to do that, you can experiment sometime.

Sit down and breathe very deeply.  Very slowly breathe in your nose to the count of five.  Hold it for the count of five and exhale through your mouth to the count of five.  And you follow this cycle five times at least five times.  In slowly to the count of five, hold for the count five, exhale through your mouth to the count of five and let your body become loose and limp.  When you allow yourself to sink into a quiet state, is what you notice is there is a whole other world that opens up.  If you really focus on relaxing your shoulders and jaw and let all of the mind chatter just be there without needing to do anything about it, don’t resist it.  You just notice it and move on.  Focus on the breath and the body starts to really relax and you start to feel different inside.  You start to have an acute awareness.  A sensitivity level that comes forward.  You will hear or feel your heartbeat.  You will notice whether you are breathing rapidly, shallow, deep, what is going on with your body?  Now what is interesting is you can do your own biofeedback session with yourself.  The way you do that is keep your body relaxed and just let your heart beat slower.  Breathe in and out even more slowly.  If you take your pulse before you start this, then you do this exercise and while you are still very calm, not moving a lot, take your pulse again.  I promise you that you can lower your pulse and respirations by choice.  You are your own virtual biofeedback machine.  If you can do this, then you can master that relationship with yourself, why not master all of the relationships with yourself in other areas of your life.  You can choose how you perceive them.  How do you want to frame what is going on?  The framing of what it is that you have going on is going to be in direct relationship to how you feel about what is going on.  If you master your mindset, master what it is that you are choosing to think about what it is that is going on, you are going to find that your pulse will go up and will go down.  Happy sad, mad, or glad.  It’s all dependent upon your relationship with your belief systems.

We are talking now about relationships with your belief systems.  Where did they come from?  They come from our childhood.  The things our parents told us.  The things we were told by our siblings, radio, internet, and these days, from our phones and computers and all the things social media says.  There is so much that occurs that we are constantly receiving data and input about.  They all are making an impression on us, especially when you are young.  We don’t have anything to compare to and we think what we hear is real.  Wow, my goodness.  And out of that we make a determination about how we should be in life based on if someone was murdered in the park.  Now I will always be afraid when I go to the park.  We hear something and then we create a belief around it.  We attach an emotion around it.  Then boom, it stays with us.  Right in the back back it goes and here we go.  So now I have all of the stuff and it keeps gathering and gathering and soon I am loaded with all of these ideas, concepts, and programs.  99% are not real.  Truth is, none of its real and that a whole other story.

For now, let’s look at your relationship with your belief systems.  When you see where they came from can you recognize why it would be appropriate to question them all.  I speak to so many people through my coaching, retreats, seminars and public speaking.  These people will tell me, that they don’t have control over that.  It just happened to me.  That is not true, you have complete control over how you frame something.  That is your choice.  You choose to be happy, sad, mad, and glad.  You choose to master what is going on in your mind.  Everything that came to you came from somewhere.  You could have something else come in from somewhere.  It’s very powerful.  It’s one of the few free will things we actually have going on for ourselves.  How do we choose to perceive what is going on.  That relationship is key.  The relationship with your beliefs, programs, and mindset.  The relationship you have with your partners are all going to be relative to your relationship with your mindset, beliefs and everything else.

When I was growing up, I think I was in the sixth grade.  Not sure.  I was young.  And I remember hearing my parents fight and I came down on the steps and sat and listened to them screaming back and forth at each other.  It was a nightmare for me.  I cried silently.  It was very very deep inside of me that I acquired the belief that you could not trust men.  My father was being very verbally abusive to my mother.  He had been cheating.  She was a wreck and yelling back at him.  It all made a deep impression on me.  I turned around and went back to bed.  From that day forward, I made a decision, that because men were not trustworthy, then I would not feel safe with them.  It has taken me many many many many years to get to the place where even though I have done repeated work over and over again, to where I can really trust a man to not cheat, or to not lie, or to not be something that they say they are.  And I will tell you that it is a focus.  It is a mindset and belief system.  Some become so deeply in grained in us, you can look back and find so many of them inside of you.  These are what it is that is dominating your life.  They are not only dominating your life, they are dominating your relationships.  I am very fortunate that I have created a man that has helped instill a greater sense of trust than I have ever had before.  All of the things I used to be in fear with, we have dealt with them.  I have put it all out on the table.  I ask for his help and support with that.  Sometimes it was a little touch and go.  Other times it was a lot easier.  It has gotten easier and as I trust more, he is less reactive and on and on it goes.  But what is important here is that you take a look inside of you and see what results you have got in your relationships in regard to being happy, sad, mad or glad.  Are you mastering them or are you victims of them?  What are you going to do about it? You have the awareness and now you get to choose how you would like to experience them.  I use these a lot, powerful questions.  One way, is you can use what if questions.  Like, what if what it is that I believe is a complete lie?  It starts to break down validity of the belief system we have.  You can also say what if this was the most awesome experience of my life so far?  What if I saw everyone through the eyes of love?  You can also shift these around and ask things like what would it take to see this through the eyes of love?  What is a different perspective that would elevate me and show me how safe I am?  If you start using questions to interrupt those beliefs and patterns and concepts, you will find that it is very powerful.  The other thing that is extremely powerful is to work with your genius team.  I speak about the genius team at a program called the Wealth Grid.  At the Wealth Grid we have some processes we do about the Genius Team.  They are extremely powerful energies that are within you and support you in breaking old programs and beliefs.  If that is something that you are really committed to mastering your relationships and you would like more sensitivity but not victimization but mastery, then the things I am speaking about today are things you can do.  I have given you a lot.  I encourage you to go back and listen to this again.

When you start to really understand you and you start to really get an understanding of what you can do about it, then you are going to find that you are already the master.  Now you just implement it.  You are powerful.  You are amazing.  You have life the way you want it.  If you are willing to understand experience perceive life the way it truly is rather than the way your many times, skewed visions that you have.  We all grow up with misconceptions.  Your assignment should you choose to accept it, is to look through the veil and see what is real.  Find out if it’s really true.  Find out what you can do and how you can frame what it is in life that will allow you to see feel and experience it as the master of every relationship that you ever could have seen, experience or imagined.

If you would like more information on this and other similar subjects and programs that we do, then go to my blog Ultimaterelationshipacademy.com\blog

Until next time, feel a hug.

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.