Feeling Like you Have a Broken Heart?

Heartbreak, also referred to as heartache, is a painful emotional experience. This kind of suffering occurs after you lose a loved one. This loss can be in the form of death, betrayal, a breakup, separation, divorce, or rejection.  In this article I’m going to give you many steps to heal your broken heart.

This experience is not just limited to human loved ones.  It can and does happen with the loss of our pets and even other things that we have a strong emotional attachment to.  In this article I will speak primarily to breakup these very principles are paramount with loss of any kind.

There are typically 5 stages that will be encountered in a heartbreak experience. Observe yourself as you move through all 5 of these stages.  Avoiding or denying any of them will slow your recovery and  healing process.

Although a broken heart is a metaphor, there can be very real physical pain in addition to the emotional turmoil that is associated with this experience.

As devastating as this might be, it is important that you decide what you are going to do. You need to learn how to heal a broken heart. At times it can feel as though the heartache will never end. It is important that you maintain faith in the fact that you do in fact possess the ability to overcome this.

Ultimately, it is all about grief.  

Grief has 5 stages:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

#1 Devote some time to nurturing yourself – During and after the rollercoaster of heartache, you need to devote some time to healing yourself. It is a time when you can take a step back and evaluate your life: where you are, and where you want to be. Spend some time doing the things that they  enjoy most. It’s also important that, at the same time, you surround yourself with people who make you happy.

#2 Lean on your support network – It’s at times like these that your friends and family can be of immense help and support. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for support as you go through this adjustment in your life. If necessary, seek professional assistance from a counselor or psychologist to help you deal with your circumstances.

#3 Discover the relief that catharsis brings – It often helps to write a letter to the person in question – without sending it. This gives you the opportunity to vent your feelings and really express what you are thinking and how you are feeling. When writing this letter be sure to write with deep passion and your full on emotions being expressed. Tearing up the letter or even burning it can add to the feeling of catharsis and letting go.

Many people find that writing in a journal is a powerful and cathartic experience. I personally use journaling to help me center myself and let go of trapped emotions that many time I did not even recognize as being there. It is a great way to release the buildup of emotions that typically accompanies heartbreak.

#4 Allow yourself to feel your emotions – One of the important things about using a journal is that it allows you to identify and get in touch with your emotions. It is never a good idea to deny your emotions.

Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, upset, and everything else that goes along with heartache. Rather than fighting your emotions, allow yourself to feel them. But don’t hold onto these feelings – allow them to flow through you.

Don’t criticize yourself if you feel the need to cry – this too can be cathartic, and some degree of relief frequently follows an emotional release.

#5 Identify and minimize things that trigger your heartache – Unless you have been bereaved, it is a good idea to remove all visible and tangible items that act as triggers for feelings of heartache. You don’t have to destroy any items. Think about removing photographs, letters, and other reminders from your immediate environment.

This is not about pretending that the other person never existed – it’s about removing triggers that send a fresh wave of heartache through your being.

#6 Create some distance – If you are trying to come to grips with how to get over heartbreak, then it’s a good idea to consider lessening your contact with the person.  Clearly, this depends on the circumstances.

However, if it is feasible it can help to remove all links to the other person on social media. Seeing their posts, tweets, etc will only serve as reminders of the pain you are experiencing.  Allow yourself some distance in order to heal and reevaluate your life.

#7 Lead a healthy lifestyle – When it comes to how to mend a broken heart don’t believe what you see in movies – hiding in a blanket fort and eating ice-cream is not going to help. Even if it’s the last thing that you feel like doing, you need to look after your body in order to heal your emotions. GEt up, get out the house and live your life!

Make sure that you get regular exercise and eat a healthy, balanced diet.  Continuous movement will help your mood immensely.  Even though you may not feel like eating, it is important for you to get proper and continuous nutrition so your brain is fed and your neurotransmitters can perform properly.. Learn from your experience

As devastating as a breakup is, it is still an opportunity for you to learn something that will aid your future. As silly as some of those breakup quotes might seem, some do hold some wisdom.

In fact, quotes about heartbreak may reveal more than wisdom. They can also be a source of motivation, a reminder that others do understand what you are going through, and encouragement to go on.

#8 Understand and forget – Unfortunately, many breakups end in casting blame and an obsession about who was at fault. The important thing is to understand what went wrong, and how you can avoid those mistakes in future relationships. Keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s seldom the case than one person is completely to blame and the other is entirely blameless.

Feeling ready and able to forgive the other person is a significant step in the healing process. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what they did or said. However, it is only when you are able to genuinely forgive another person that the issues can be resolved and you will be able to move on in your life.

#9 Physical Support – On final consideration is Homeopathy or Flower Essences.  Ignatia is a wonderful homeopathic remedy that can be very helpful with speeding up the process of healing with grief. I would recommend a potency of 30X or 30C.  Dissolve 5 pellets under your tongue 4 times a day.  Take it away from food and avoid strong  mint, raw garlic, camphor and eucalyptus as they will cancel the remedy (but no harm will occur).

A powerful flower essence for grief  is Star of Bethlehem.

It may not feel possible now, but there will come a time when you will have a new lease on life. This is the time when you will be able try new things and meet new people. Travelling, being creative, or learning a new skill, are all things that will bring productivity to your life – and with it a new sense of energy and purpose.

Time is a POWERFUL healer!

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.

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