What You Should Know About Daddy Issues

Dictionaries define daddy as an alternative way to call your father. The way children relate to their parents can significantly affect their future relationships with other people. Specifically, the way a girl child relates to her father when she is still young can give rise to what is termed as daddy issues. When she becomes a woman, it determines her choice of men, and the angle those relationships take.

What Are Daddy Issues?

In psychology, the daddy complex is a collection of strong unconscious associations or impulses specifically relating to the father model or image. These associations can be either negative such as distrusting or positive like admiration.  A father complex can also be referred to as daddy issues.

Daddy issues are experienced when a woman was mistreated, abandoned, or not loved by her father as a child. This results in dysfunctional relationships with men where she overcompensates, distrusts men or ends up in abusive relationships. A person with such issues has numerous emotional gaps which causes bad decisions in partner selection.

Carl Jung coined the term daddy issues in psychology in his theory “The Electra Complex”. This complex is displayed when a girl exhibits a type of psychosexual competition for possession of her father.

5 Types of Daddy Issues

The Absent Father

This kind of daddy syndrome is the most common. It involves a situation where a girl may know her father but has little or no contact with her father. Some reasons for this are: death of dad at a young age and strained relationships between parents leading to no communication.

The absent father becomes resented by one or more person in the home. This issue presents a relationship problem in that the girl retains an underlying resentment towards men. Women with this issue grow up expecting men to abandon their families and get into relationships with distrust.

The Missing Father

This involves a non-existent dad. These girls have been raised without knowing how their father looks like and might not even know his name. Not knowing your father can cause problems such as promiscuity or a lack of personal boundaries.

The circumstances under which a father disappeared or ceased to exist tend to dictate how a woman relates to men as romantic partners. A woman may end up overcompensating for the father’s absence in many ways due to feelings of abandonment.

The Overly Loving Dad

The overly doting father can tolerate anything from his daughter and rarely gets upset no matter what she does. This kind of dad is on the other end of this spectrum and tends to take the “Daddy’s Little Girl” phrase slightly too far. These little girls grow up to become spoilt and carry around them a sense of entitlement.

Some of these women whose fathers have overindulged them can become very difficult to please. Somehow no romantic partner they ever date can counter the extravagant treatment their fathers gave them. The women’s domestic or social skills may have been affected as a result of this.

The Absentee Father

This daddy issue arises from a father who was emotionally absent even though he lived with his family. He may also have been physically missing due to extensive travel or long work hours resulting in less time spent at home. Such fathers compensate for their inadequacy by offering material things to their daughters instead of forming emotional bonds with them.

Girls raised with an absent father often grow up having a distorted perspective on the male’s role in the home. They tend to have confused expectations, some seek men who are distant emotionally or send mixed messages to their partners.

The Terrible Dad

This kind of father made life at home extremely difficult for the child. These relationships are quite dysfunctional they leave raw scars in the women, which may not go away even after therapy. These women harbor distrust towards men and approach romantic relationships from a defensive state.

Any kind of abuse or tension experienced during childhood has the capacity to disrupt a dating relationship. A woman with negative feelings towards her father has a higher chance of carrying over these emotions to her love life.

Identifying Daddy Issues Symptoms

Girls’ daddy issues are displayed in a variety of ways. Dating a girl with daddy issues means taking into account these symptoms to be prepared beforehand. Some of the daddy issues symptoms include the following,

  • She participates in one form of self-mutilation or another. Cutting, obsessive nail-biting, excessive tattooing and piercing are some examples to look out for.
  • She has issues surrounding her body-image and  may have eating disorders
  • She is over-confident in a delusional manner in addition to entitlement issues
  • She is jealous, clingy, and overprotective, constantly worrying about being abandoned.   
  • She is attracted to older men who are confident, financially stable, and seem to know exactly what to do.
  • Girls daddy issues cause them to need constant affection and reassurance of love, continually comparing herself to others
  • She gives the impression that she only cares about sex because she craves lots of it. She feels loved and appreciated when engaged in sex with a man, sometimes participating in risky behaviors for satisfaction.
  • She is terrified of being alone and would rather be engaged in a dysfunctional relationship or bounce between relationships than become single.

Dealing With the Daddy Syndrome

Father abandonment issues on daughters can cause a lifetime of problems if not addressed. The first step to dealing with these issues is acknowledgement. Other ways of addressing these are,

  • Break down your daddy issues to small chunks and attack one issue at a time.
  • Thereafter, adopt affirmations that you can identify with and use daily.
  • If you have experienced the issues for a while, it may be time to seek a therapist or qualified counsellors help.

Daddy issues are not something to be embarrassed about or be afraid of, because they can be dealt with. If you feel these issues have changed your life for the worse, it’s time to address them. Start by acknowledging them and seek out the help of a therapist. You will be happier and better off.

And please remember that the majority of people young and old have “Daddy Issues”.  You are not alone. Once you address these you will know yourself better and have better understanding for others as well.

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.