You Will at Some Point in Your Life Have Emotional Pain it’s How you Deal With it That Matters

While life can be mostly pleasurable, it does have its ups and downs. Businesses collapse, marriages fail, loved ones die, friends suffer, and bodies ail. When life gets rough, it can be hard to stay strong in the midst of all the craziness. You can easily get overwhelmed by past traumas or consumed by something that’s happening. So, what do you do when you’re experiencing emotional pain? You deal with it in the following ways:

Don’t Try to Change the Normal Course of Events

It is normal to feel pain when traumatic events occur in your life. You may be grieving the loss of a loved one or recovering from a breakup. When something that you perceive as bad happens to you, allow yourself to feel angry or hurt.

Let’s be honest, if you lose someone you hold dear, it’s natural to be affected. Only a person who could not feel would be unaffected by such a traumatic event. If you are dumped by someone you love, it’s normal to feel pain. These happenings are normal and trying to change what is natural is futile.

Allow yourself to feel pain and to heal at your own pace. Don’t try to speed up recovery or to control the healing process. Surrendering to your pain can be comforting.

What does this mean?  Just stay with what you are feeling.  Notice the sensations in your body.  Is there a tightness in your stomach or chest?  Is your jaw clenched?  Is your head aching?

Accept Emotional Pain

Don’t try to make the pain go away immediately. Release your fierce grip and observe your pain more clearly. Examine it without resistance and stop wishing that the scenario was different. Don’t waste emotional energy thinking how better off you would be if the event hadn’t happened.

Allow what’s happening to happen and don’t try to rush the process. Embrace the pain as if you are the one who chose it. This can be a very hard thing to do because when we are suffering, all we think about is ending the pain. But dealing with your pain without trying to escape it is the only way you can move beyond it.

Meditate, pray, and set aside some alone time. However, as you deal with the pain, avoid making it the focal point of your life. Use the experience as a lesson to help others in the same situation.

Pinpoint the Feelings

When undergoing pain, you may experience different feelings. You may feel angry, heartbroken, afraid, insecure, and even betrayed. Give some thought to your feelings as this will help you to process your emotions after a distressing event.

For optimal relief, try to just observe the feelings without taking them on as your own. When you are watching a movie and someone is in pain, you are able to separate the pain because it is not yours..  Just observe it, describe, it talk about it but don’t take it on as your own.

You can write about your feelings in a journal, record them on an audio recorder, or draw them if you are artistic. Find a way to relieve the pain that tallies with your normal way of coping. Define emotions and express your pain freely without censoring it. This will help you to organize your thoughts, to gather your emotions in a safe place other than your overwhelmed brain.

It creates a way for you to step into a more discerning state. Expressing feelings soon after a tragic event is important because they are not repressed, waiting to erupt at a later time. Suppressing feelings can result in post-traumatic stress disorder.

Don’t Look to Artificial Medicine

Most people who suffer psychological trauma or severe childhood trauma use drugs to numb the pain. In fact, taking painkillers to soothe aches has become the way of life for most people. Some painkillers like Tylenol can also decrease emotional pain. Acetaminophen, the main ingredient in Tylenol, can take the edge off emotions and make people more resistant to horrific events. But don’t rush to buy the drug whenever you’re feeling low.

According to The New York Times, Tylenol has the ability to blunt both positive and negative emotions. Research suggests that the drug minimizes pain by regulating the part of the brain that dictates social emotions. Instead of taking drugs to numb your pain, allow your body to heal itself. Most painful emotions fade with time, you only need to be patient.

Effectively Deal with Emotional Pain.3

As the old adage goes, “What can’t be cured must be endured.” Time heals all wounds, even the most painful ones. Give yourself time to heal. Remember that a wound is most painful when it’s fresh, but after a while, the pain decreases.

When it heals, the spot becomes painless. You cannot drive out pain in one day, you need time – time to heal, time to rest, and time to fully recover. Don’t be hard on yourself and persevere during your painful process.

Look For Help and Support

Sometimes, the pain you feel won’t go away unless you talk to someone about it. Seek emotional support from people you love and trust. Spend time with people who make you happy, who can make you see the beauty of life and show you that there’s something to look forward to.

When you talk about your feelings, you pave way for the healing process. Your family and friends may want to ease your hurt but not know how to go about it. Reach out to them. You’ll feel relieved when you pour your heart out to someone.

Turn Your Pain into Wisdom

Experiences, whether good or bad, always come for a reason. Find out what that reason is. Whether you suffered childhood trauma or psychological trauma, learn from the upsetting event and overcome your pain. You might ask yourself, “What good thing(s) can come out of this experience? Just put the question out there and the answers will come when they are ready to be released.

Turn your pain into wisdom and your challenges into chances. When all is said and done, your pain should make you better, not bitter. As long as you are alive and breathing, hope remains. Learn to love again, find places to go, and do exciting things. Rebuild your life and make it incredibly amazing!

Most people hate emotional pain and do all they can to steer clear of it or to get rid of it. But the more you try to resist and reject pain, the stronger it becomes and the more it lingers (oh, the irony of life!).

Consider this “Whatever you Resist, Persists!”

Stay open and compassionate with yourself as you go through the healing of emotional upset, anxiety and trauma.  This will expedite the change from pain to joy.

Everyone experiences emotional pain now and again, but that doesn’t mean they are defective or broken – far from it. Experiencing pain shows that you are  human, that you have emotions and feelings. Whenever you’re feeling pain, use these techniques to deal with it.


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Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

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