Have You Learned to Love Yourself Yet?
One of the most popular words in our time is self-love. What does that mean and how do we do this? I believe that one of the best skills learned in our life is learning to love yourself. Your told to love yourself before getting into a relationship, to love your body with its imperfections, and so on. This is a true lesson in our lives learning to love yourself. I’m going to share with you in this article many ways to do just this!
However, loving yourself is easier said than done. In fact, some people struggle to love themselves their entire lifetimes. But loving yourself is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself. If you’ve want to start loving yourself or have decided to start loving yourself, read this post very carefully to the very end.
How to Love Yourself Unconditionally
The best example of unconditional love is that of a mother for her newborn baby. She loves her young one unreservedly and accepts him/her wholeheartedly. But for most of us, loving ourselves in this manner is seemingly impossible.
We look in the mirror and see countless flaws or think about our past failures. What we often forget is that we are works in progress.
When you love yourself, you will be happy regardless of the situation you are in. When you don’t love yourself, you will be unhappy regardless of the situation you are in.
The first step towards learning to love yourself is to find out three things:
- What you don’t like about yourself
- What you don’t love about yourself
- What makes you feel unlovable
Briefly, contemplate these things and perhaps even write them down. When you see them in writing you will discover that most of the time they are just plain silly and are very changeable if you truly do not want to keep those characteristics prevalent in your Life.
For example, if you wrote down “I don’t like that I eat with my mouth open.”with this awareness you can now stay very conscious when you are eating and practice chewing with your mouth closed.
Or, you can just accept ‘what is’. When we are not living our lives for the approval of others we do what we do and we are OK with it.
Another thing you might write would be, “I don’t love that I weigh 10 pounds more than I want to.” Is weighing 10 pounds more than you want to worth upsetting your Life for? Are you willing to do what it takes to release those 10 pounds? If not, then stop worrying about it and accept ‘what is.’
Most stress and self-criticism is based on what we think other people think we ought to be, do, think or say…. NOT WHAT IS TRUE FOR OURSELVES.
Eradicate the thoughts that make you not love yourself does not seem easy and we CAN control what we think by where we put our focus.
Every time you have a negative thought, replace it with a positive one.
Or you could ask open ended Power Questions like, “What’s great about this that I haven’t seen yet?” Or, “What is another way for me to perceive this?” Don’t expect an instant answer, instead pay attention to how you feel as time goes on.
You can also just observe the thoughts without any response or reaction to it. When no energy is given there is no fuel to keep any thought alive. Eventually, it will start to diminish.
“Change your Thinking and Change your Life.”
At first, examining your thoughts might seem like a hard thing to do. But you’ll soon get used to it. If you aren’t Aware of your thoughts, you will never be able to change them.
You will go through life trying to make others love you and have the misunderstanding that this will make you love yourself. This is not true and needless to say, this will give you a lot of anguish and stress.
Nothing is as important as how you think and feel about yourself. When you love yourself, you have inner stability, you’re happier, you enjoy life, and you become a much better person. A common misconception is that self-love is narcissism.
Nothing could be further from the truth! Loving yourself does not mean that you are selfish, it means that you are willing to do all it takes to live a fulfilling life. The more you care and love yourself, the more caring and love you will have for others.
Here are some self-love techniques that can help you learn to love yourself.
- Create compelling goals. By setting goals and achieving them, you build your confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes starting small is a good idea.
- Do something you are good at. This fortifies your belief in your strengths and abilities.
- Learn something new. You overcome your fear when you master something.
- Make other people feel good about themselves. This will help you to feel good about yourself.
- Get motivated. Listen to an empowering song or read something inspirational to uplift your spirits. (I listen to music continuously, even while I am writing this article. It keeps me alive and excited about everything!)
- Change your attitude towards yourself. Keep in mind that how you think of yourself, portray yourself and represent yourself ultimately becomes the reality.
- Write 5 things each day that you are Grateful for.
- Every night write 5 things that you accomplished in that day.
- Write 5 things that you love about yourself.
Finding Self Worth
The world we live in is centered on feedback. We value feedback to the extent that criticizing has become a career. But if people had a high sense of self worth, feedback wouldn’t be as important as it is.
We would do things for others without waiting to receive positive affirmation. We would be more emotionally balanced because we accepted ourselves – our good aspects, bad ones, and everything in between.
The truth is we all have all traits available. We are all capable of being loving, gentle, anger, hostile, resentful etc. etc. No one is excluded. It is how we BE with these options in our personality that matter. Do we use them to attack and control or do we notice them and give up the energy that would make them bigger and grow?
As you embark on your journey of finding self worth, you will discover that it comes from within, not without. You won’t find it in money, friends, or valuable possessions.
It is inherent and not something that can be found in external factors. Most people struggling with depression have low self-esteem. They hinge their self worth on external factors like success, relationships, and careers. When these factors do not meet their expectations, they sink deep into depression.
To find self worth, set aside time for introspection. Ask yourself what boosts your sense of worth or makes you feel good. Is it your job, looks, or relationships? Is your self worth impacted by one thing or several things?
Recognize your worth without looking for validation from others. Know that you are clever even when you don’t get good grades, that you are a good employee even when you don’t get a promotion.
While validation from others is a good thing, you’ll still feel secure even when the feedback is negative.
Read Books about Loving Yourself
It’s safe to say that every person has read a book or two that have influenced their life. One great thing about self-love/worth/esteem books is that they often offer a point of view that is different from the one we have in our minds or that we grew up with.
They can help you to find inner peace, happiness, and remind you of what you are capable of when you need to hear it the most. Read many books on loving yourself and self-growth. When you do you will be uplifted to live a rewarding life.
We spend our lives comparing and finding fault with ourselves and others. We believe that nothing good comes easy, that we have to go through difficult experiences in order to become the people we want to become.
This is not true. We must learn how to re-frame what we think and look at Life from the Power Principle of Perception. If your perception is not uplifting, kind and loving…CHOOSE AGAIN!
Learning to love yourself is usually a process that takes Awareness, Desire, Commitment and Follow-Through. It takes a complete reframing of how most people see themselves and the world. It is ALL within you. Love of Self is WITHIN you.
Self-Love is doable and liberates you from seeking validation from others. Once you love yourself, the quality of your life improves. Remember that if there is anybody who deserves your love and affection, it is you.
For more information about how to create a Perception Shift visit: www.ultimaterelationshipacademy.com
Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.