Sex Therapy Anyone?
John and Sarah knew that something was wrong with their sex life, but they were too embarrassed to talk about it. In the early stages of their relationship, they could barely stop touching each other. John would sneak out of the office for a few hours just to go home and spend quality time with his wife. But kids came and responsibilities increased.
They both became very busy and hardly spent time with each other. They stopped being intimate and would go for months without sex. If they made love, it wasn’t enjoyable. With time, they both lost interest in sex. John would come home late and sleep on the couch.
Sarah knew they were headed down the wrong path and that something had to change. She spoke to a friend who suggested couples sex therapy. They started seeing a therapist and gradually, their sex life improved.
Is your sex life deteriorating? You may feel like giving up and that there’s no solution to your problem. False myths about therapists may also prevent you from visiting a specialist to seek professional help.
Don’t worry, you are not alone. Numerous people having intimacy issues wonder whether therapy will help turn their relationships around. Sex counseling works; it is a tried and tested method of enhancing relationships. All relationships have intimacy issues. If you want yours to survive, you must be willing to deal with your core issues.
What Is Sex Therapy?
It is an approach used by therapists to help solve sexual difficulties experienced in relationships. It deals with both physical and psychological problems. Sex counseling helps boost physical intimacy by offering solutions to sex problems. Sometimes, it can be offered as an accompaniment to medical treatment.
Sex Therapy for Couples
Studies reveal that one in every four couples is dissatisfied with their sex life. Partners suffer silently and do not talk about their bad or nonexistent sex life. Couples sex therapy helps couples to resolve their problems and builds a strong foundation in relationships.
While some people have nonexistent sex lives, some suffer from sex addiction. They cannot control the urge to have sex and end up ruining their relationships. Sex addiction therapy helps people to control the urge to have sex so that it doesn’t consume their lives. Many different therapies are used to help patients overcome sex addiction including medication, education, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Usually, sex therapy takes a specific amount of time depending on the willingness of a couple to cooperate.
Facts about Sex Therapy for Couples
Discussing your private sex life with a stranger may seem odd. You may probably be wondering what this type of counseling actually involves. Here are some aspects of couples sex therapy.
It Is Like Other Types of Counseling
There is nothing unusual or strange that goes on in the office of a sex therapist. Counseling basically entails being given advice and recommendations by a person specialized in psychological techniques of rehabilitation and treatment for complex sex issues. The therapist may carry out a personal interview to collect a detailed history and to determine the ability of the parties to solve the problems.
It Identifies the Major Cause
One way or the other, your sexual issue has a main cause behind it. A counselor will help you to tackle any problems that might be causing your intimacy issues. However, you have to be open-minded and be able to openly share all the problems you are experiencing no matter how embarrassing they might be. You may have to discuss topics like sexual performance. But throughout the process, you’ll be encouraged to talk about your needs and wants.
Sex therapy can help you and your partner increase your self-awareness. This is always beneficial. It can help you know the deeper reasons that you do what you do or don’t do. You can learn about core issues that express themselves through sex difficulties.
The deeper issues we have will always show up somewhere in our lives. They can alter our communication skills, our trust with ourselves and others, our ability to work well with others, feeling safe with our partners and so much more.
Being intimate takes vulnerability. If we do not feel safe we will not necessarily want to open up (this is especially true for women). Men usually frame sex differently then women and this is important to understand.
Understanding ourselves and our partners will help open us up to greater intimacy, growth and love.
You Don’t Have to Be Accompanied By Your Partner
While most counseling sessions require you to go with your partner, others may require you to go alone. It all depends on the problem you are trying to solve. For instance, if your sex life is nonexistent, you can see a counselor together. However, if you are the one experiencing a problem, a counselor may want to see you alone to help you work on your issues before involving your partner.
There Is Homework
You will never be told to undress or to do anything of sexual nature. However, your therapist will give you homework. After every session, they will offer ideas on activities you can try at home. These activities can help make you confident both in and out of the bedroom. You will learn to put yourself out there and risk failure and to find answers for questions you might have. The exercises will help get rid of psychological obstructions that cause your sex life to be boring.
It Is Up To You to Choose a Qualified Therapist
Don’t go to see a therapist simply because someone recommended them. First, find out if they are certified in a professional counseling field like psychology, counseling, theology, social work, or family therapy. In addition, they should also be licensed in sex therapy. The graduate-level counseling education ensures a therapist is qualified to help couples. If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, find another one. A professional therapist will always have your best interests at heart.
Benefits of Sex Therapy
If you are experiencing sexual problems in your relationship, do not lose hope. A therapist can help you to solve your problems and to avoid future ones. Sex counseling helps couples to enhance their sex lives. Here are 2 of its benefits.
You Truly Connect With Your Partner
The hectic pace of modern life can overwhelm you and leave no room for intimacy. As time goes by, you may start seeing your partner as a glorified roommate. A therapist can help you to understand the importance of spending quality time with your partner. You learn how to slow down and rekindle your relationship and to pay attention to each other.
Adds Pleasure and Enjoyment to Your Life
Many people live lives that are not pleasurable. They are stressed, depressed, overworked, and too busy to even consider whether they are enjoying life. Sex counseling helps couples to enjoy sex, to make time for it, and to feel confident asking for it. When you enjoy sex, you enjoy life.
See a Therapist and Solve Your Sex Issues
Sex can energize a relationship, protect it against tough trials, and bind partners. When you are unhappy about sex, your entire relationship suffers. If you are experiencing intimacy issues, go to sex therapy. Relationships are built on understanding and communication. When you solve the issue stressing you or your partner, your relationship improves as well.
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Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.