RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

 

The test of relationship is the test that we go through every moment of every day when we’re with someone or even when we aren’t. When we’re with someone that we love and want to be with, it doesn’t mean that we have it easier. In fact, sometimes it’s harder. The perfect relationship is a perception. It’s our expectations about what’s going to happen that creates all the controversy and conflict. Discover the five essential keys to getting relationships right as Esateys and Rafael take a deep dive into the subject of relationships.

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The 5 Essential Keys To Getting Relationship Right: Where Did I Leave The Manual?

We’ve been having a time getting this particular session going. There are certain things that have to be a certain way. It has not been as easy as it could have been. Everything has been interesting. What’s great about that is this is the test of a relationship. This is the test that we go through every moment of every day when we’re with someone or even when we aren’t. When we’re with someone that we love and want to be with, it doesn’t mean that we have it easier. In fact, sometimes it’s harder. We’ve been back and forth doing all these things that we’ve been doing. What I find fascinating about that is this happens seemingly every time. I want things to be ready and he’s going, “I have it already.” I get in there and 45 minutes later we still haven’t done it.

I’m giving some personal laundry out here, so everybody can see that the perfect relationship is a perception. You’re still going to go through stuff but that doesn’t have anything to do with anything. It has to do with how you are choosing to be internally even if you’re saying how you feel. It’s when you start blaming that it becomes difficult. Even if you’re calling a spade a spade, that other person may be thinking of blame but that has to do with the way they’re perceiving it.

What’s really cool about what you said is about the perception part. The perception part from my perspective is I got this whole thing ready. We were essentially ready to go except for some minor tweaks, which between both of us was not exactly the way we wanted it. It’s our expectations about what’s going to happen that creates all the controversy, all the conflict. We had a lot of fun doing that. If you heard some of those outtakes, you would have been laughing too.

We probably should have made this thing about the outtakes because it shows you how the relationship works. You probably know that because you’ve been in some relationship most likely. In addition to that, we’re in full disclosure. We’re going to be totally transparent here. I’m a high-maintenance girl. I asked him, “Do you have any lotion? My hands were feeling like cardboard.” I knew I couldn’t record without getting something on my hands. We were about to start, and I realized I’m thirsty, “Do you have any water?” We had to go into that. There were a few things going on. This is what happens in our day-to-day world. This whole thing about, “Where did I leave the manual?”

The truth is there is no real manual. There are things that we can bring together that will help us have guidelines. That’s what a big part of the purpose of this podcast is. It’s about having fun but it’s also about understanding that there are certain ways that you can live life. You can deal with it from a different perspective than you might otherwise deal with it. When we get these five essential keys to getting the relationship right, know right off the bat there is no right. What we can do is we can look at what’s happening in the relationship. We can be with what is in a different way. This is where the whole thing about being responsible, honest, and transparent with yourself regardless of what it is that’s going on. It’s not about blaming the person.

If we can't be who we are, our partner will never know who we are. Click To Tweet

One of the reasons I came up with this or I added the way that I leave the manual, it reminded me. Those of you who have children will understand this. You give birth, you’re in love, you have an extraordinary birth experience. All of a sudden you go home and you’re with the baby and nobody told you how to do it. You have to figure it all out because there is no manual. Relationships are exactly the same. If we don’t beat ourselves up and understand that we’re doing the best we can, that is a key that we need to comprehend. Whatever our expectations are, they’ll never get met no matter what.

These keys that we’re going to speak about are very important. All of the things that you said, that’s true but if you don’t have awareness, you don’t even know this stuff is going on. I could not tell you how many people I have worked with and coached, and I don’t mean this to sound sexist, but it’s usually the man that says, “What happened? I don’t even know what the problem is. I don’t know why she feels this way, why she left or why any of these things happen.” Guys frequently don’t have that astute awareness as quickly as women do, whether that’s because women are programmed to be able to hear the children or whatever it is.

The bottom line is that they will frequently have a different perception because they never even knew anything was happening. I can remember one couple in particular where they came to me. He went to work and when he came home, she was packed and completely gone. He went, “I don’t have a clue why she left.” In her mind for several years, she’d been saying in the best way she knew how, “I’m not happy. This isn’t working for me.” He wasn’t hearing, and he didn’t have that awareness. It was a traumatic experience.

Awareness

The first key is awareness. Be conscious of what the other person is saying. What is it that they’re doing? How it is that they’re feeling? Be present with yourself so you know how you’re feeling and what it is that you’re thinking. What it is that you’re hearing from your partner and if each person does that, then you have an awareness of at least a clue what’s going on. If you don’t know exactly what’s going on, ask. Say, “I have a feeling that there’s a distance between us and I don’t know what’s going on. Can you help me better understand that?” When you approach someone like that, then they can take a moment. Many times, these subconscious reactions come from a place of wanting to be safe.

For example, a woman might just shut down. That’s a pretty frequent thing that happens. A man will raise his voice or one of the partners will raise their voice and the other person gets little, shuts down, and doesn’t want to deal. They back away emotionally, mentally, physically and then they get in bed that night. The person who was yelling feels better because they got rid of their stuff is now lying in bed and asking the partner, “How about it, baby?” The other person’s going, “Are you kidding me? Do you remember that you yelled at me or whatever?” Frequently people won’t even be that open with what it is going on with them. They may not know and they’re afraid to say something because that’s going to make them even madder. Many people immediately go to defense. If you say, “When I heard your voice raised, I felt a certain level of attack. I didn’t feel good. I wanted to run away.” The partner will say, “Remember you did this, and you did this.” It gets into this whole thing that doesn’t ever get anybody what it is that they want. Awareness is a key piece and communication about that is important.

RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

Getting Relationship Right: Whatever our expectations are, they’ll never get met no matter what.

 

To finish on the awareness piece, one of the things I always like to look at or talk about is closing the loop. The closing of the feedback loop of understanding what the other person is thinking or maybe feeling when you say something. I know that I’m not that great about it because I’m like, “I’m right. I’m this. I’m that.” It’s challenging to be open to what is going on on the other side. There’s a feedback and being aware of that. If you say something that even if unintentional hurt someone’s feelings and you don’t want to hurt their feelings, then that can be addressed. You have to have the awareness in that feedback loop to constantly be getting how it’s being received and how you’re doing. It’s a feedback of the other person and your own. It’s like putting all this data into your computer and being aware of the result.

Commitment

Once you have the awareness and you’ve got this feedback loop in order, what’s important is that you suddenly have this awareness something’s going. The next piece that’s important is you have to have the commitment to have a different result occur in your life. You have the awareness but the commitment to follow through and clean up what it is going on is very critical. That can only happen if you have a clear understanding of what you want in a relationship. If you’re having a thought, “They did it,” and they’re still blaming stuff going on, then what occurs is that you don’t have a commitment to have the relationship be a 50/50 deal. It means that you have to be committed to following through even if the other person doesn’t or won’t. Perhaps they’re the ones that are too injured or they’re not feeling safe enough, it’s usually about safety. Therefore, you get to hold the ball and follow through if the other person isn’t doing that automatically. It’s not like, “I’m going to wait until he gets it.” That is not going to work. That is not the best thing to do. Be committed to making sure that issue is resolved.

I wanted to ask you a question. Clarify the difference. When you talk about commitment, is it commitment to the relationship working? Is it commitment to awareness so that the relationship can be better? What is the commitment that you talk about? Is it a personal one or is it about the relationship?

It is a commitment to yourself first. The commitment to yourself is that you have to make a very conscious awareness decision about what you want. If you want the love inside of you, if you want to feel good about yourself, the way you be, what you say, all of those kinds of things, then the commitment is you making sure that you’re feeling the way that you want to feel. Once you’re really clear that you want the love, peace, the flow, copacetic or whatever it is that you say that you want, that is something that is going to be inspiring you to take the next step. The next step is to be committed to the relationship. The relationship then means that you are going to step out of your comfort zone and be willing to work with the person that you got this thing going with.

Sometimes those distinctions get blurred but they’re the same thing.

Shifting from expectation to giving makes a huge difference. Click To Tweet

It’s Always About You

The third one is always about you. In this case, it’s always about me. The bottom line to this is that whatever is going on emanates from within ourselves. There’s what we call the inside business and the outside business. The inside business is where we create our life from. It’s the internal landscape of what we think, feel, say, do and all of that occurs because of the programs and the beliefs that we’ve had from childhood. Depending upon your belief systems back in your DNA from before it is that you even came into being an infant. What is important about you is accepting the responsibility that you are the one who gets to decide how they want to be in their life and how they want to be with their partner.

What that means is if you get that person is a mirror to you, they’re showing you what it is that is not making you happy because there’s a part of you that is uncomfortable with that for whatever your reasons are. What occurs is that when you recognize it’s yourself, then there’s no point and no need to blame anyone else. It’s not over there, it’s over here. What kind of belief system do you have that’s causing you to think that you have nothing to do with that? People don’t do things to us. We have things occur and we determine how we want to be with that. You’ll notice that when you’re in a good mood, what other people do is go like, “Whatever.”

If you are down and out and you’re feeling negative and you don’t think things are going your way, pretty much everything that occurs is their fault or somebody’s fault. We happened to both be in a really awesome place and because of that, when all this was going on, we made fun out of it. He didn’t get triggered about the things that I was asking for; the water, lotion, “Make this right, fix this light.” Instead he said, “Yes, dear. Anything else I can get you?” He was making fun about it, but we continued to have a progressive experience occur when it came to getting this thing off and running. We’re off and running. Remember that the third one is all about me or you can say it’s all about you. Say it’s all about me because then you won’t be trying to blame your other person.

One way to look at this, which has helped me is that anything that I perceive, whether I feel insulted or attacked is always my perception. That perception is colored by and run by the lenses that we’re seeing things at. What Esateys was saying that if you are feeling in a good mood, that doesn’t mean anything. If you’re in a little grumpy mood and you’re not in such a great place, then the lens that you’re seeing things through is going to be tainted towards the negative and that’s when this happens. We’ll have a lot more to say about it’s all about you. This is probably the most important piece of our work and our teachings. We’ll be talking about this because no matter what, it is the foundation bottom rock of what we talk about.

Communication

The fourth step is the communication piece. Communication is king. The truth is it is one of the most important things that’s essential in a relationship. I would say that 99.9% of the people that I coach, work with retreats or in whatever way that I’m working with them. It’s about communication. I’m working with two people and it happens to be a father and a son. They don’t have a clue what the other one is saying because they’re not skilled at communicating about what it is that’s going on with them. They somehow think that the other person’s psychic or they expect. I faded away into having been in a relationship once. I can remember what occurred. I expected that person to know what it was that I wanted. Have you ever done that?

RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

Getting Relationship Right: People don’t do things to us. We have things occur and we determine how we want to be with that.

 

Maybe women do this more than men. I’m not sure but I know. This was many years ago, but I have to be in full disclosure. I would get so upset if I had to tell them what I wanted, and of course, they didn’t have a clue. They didn’t do what it was that I said that I wanted. If I told him what I wanted, then it didn’t count. It wasn’t enough because they were only doing it because I said I wanted it done. It’s not because they wanted to do it. It’s because they’re trying to pacify me or get me to be still or whatever the case may be. That is a myth. We expect somebody else to read our minds and then we get upset when we tell them and then they do it. That’s what we really wanted and then it’s their fault for doing that too.

This happens a lot with women to men. They expect us to do something and they expect us to read their minds, which doesn’t really happen so readily without communication.

I was referring to women being that way with men. I’m the one who was in that relationship and I remember that more than one relationship I have to admit. It was something that didn’t work out well. When you are not communicating well, then you are not going to have the results that you want in the relationship. We’re going to do a whole show on this because communication is lengthy. It’s deep, it’s very intricate and because when we communicate, we have to be present. We have to be honest, speak clearly and succinctly about what’s going on at the best level that we can. We have to do some things that are very important, one of which is to eliminate the word you. When it’s about, “You said that. You made me do this.” What happens is all that blame, and all that energy is going out on the other person, which is relieving us of the responsibility of anything. When we do that, that other person’s feeling attacked, they don’t feel safe, they don’t get it and all of those other things occur. When in fact, it was about us, to begin with.

The key is somebody may do something or may say something. If you take them out of the picture and you look at what it is that they said or what it is they did, that’s where the trigger is. If parents would learn this, it would be helpful. They will destroy a child’s self-confidence and their ability to be in life as a happy camper. They say, “You’re such a bad kid because you didn’t clean your room. You’re never going to make yourself be worthy in life or whatever.” That wasn’t really the case. It’s a matter of when chores aren’t done, they’d say, “I feel like I need to have a clean house. When you don’t clean your room, then I don’t feel good. What I want is for you to keep your room clean.”

There are two things about that. One, I’m going to feel good, which means I’m going to be a happier mom, which means your life will be easier. Secondly, you’re going to learn how to be responsible and capable. You’re going to know how to be in the world as someone who is reliable and able to take care of themselves, and perhaps children of your own when you have it.” I don’t know many people that speak that way with their children, but it’s an interesting option for you to consider.

Love yourself and be okay with yourself no matter what that is. Click To Tweet

One more thing on the communication. The one thing that I didn’t hear you say is that a big piece of communication is listening. It’s not what you say, it’s hearing what the other person is saying and being able to take that back.

You cannot put yourself in a position where you’re constantly giving the words. You have to be able to hear what the other person is saying. I said this when we were talking about one of those things. What that really means is that if you are constantly telling, speaking, you have to have the awareness. You don’t have awareness if you’re not listening. You have to listen to what it is that the other person is saying. You need to watch what their faces say, what their expressions are telling you, what their body language is like. If they’re very intense with their eyes or if they’re open and they’re fun, they’re going to tell you what it is that’s going on with them by their body language for one thing and by what it is that you hear. When we speak about the communication thing, we’ll speak more about that.

Be Real And Transparent

The fifth one is to be real and be transparent. That’s something that is not easy for the majority of people to do. The truth is it’s not easy all the time for me to do when I am on camera or when I’m on stage, sometimes I can do it. The bottom line is that there’s a certain way that you’re supposed to do these things. I decided that I am going to be myself. One of my great inspirations is that song, This Is Me from The Greatest Showman. If you haven’t listened to it, please go listen to it because it’s awesome. It tells the truth about what it is that we have the ability to live our lives. I love that song. When we are ourselves, then everybody else starts to have a sense that it’s okay for them to be themselves. Some people, when I’ve said that to them, they go, “You don’t understand. Everybody will be breaking the law. There would be none of this, none of that.” I say, “If we did that, there would probably be a reorganization of things in the world for a bit.”

On the other hand, when people don’t feel pressured and they don’t feel attacked and they don’t feel like they can’t be themselves, then they’ll stop trying to get back at people through shootings and all those other things that occur because they get to be themselves. Who we are is not a violent, nasty, vile person. By nature, we’re kind, loving people and you know in your heart of heart that you’ve got all this other stuff gurgling. You are a piece of that unhappy attacking, sarcastic thing but where do you think that came from? We have a feeling in our world that we can’t be ourselves. We’re constantly trying to fit in the box of what our mother said, father said, society says, the internet says or grandparents said.

In the context of a relationship where we’re trying to create a close intimate, a real commonality and closeness, if we can’t be who we are, our partner will never know who we are. Most of the time it’s because we don’t know who we are but that’s a whole other story. The piece that’s clear to me is that we have to be honest with our partner that it doesn’t matter.

RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

Getting Relationship Right: When we are ourselves, then everybody else starts to have a sense that it’s okay for them to be themselves.

 

When you start practicing that and you find out that nobody shoots you dead at that moment or your partner doesn’t walk out the door or whatever, that’s going to make a big difference. The most important difference it will make is you’re going to feel more authentic in yourself. Being authentic is one of the number one things to experiencing joy. It’s a scary thing because we are all brought up to live within the realms of the mold of whoever made that mold.

That authenticity will open the other person’s heart because they feel you being present and being real with them. That will create wonders in the whole relationship.

Understand Why You Want To Be In A Relationship

The bonus one, which I feel would have ideally been the first one is understanding why you’re in a relationship. What I would like to do is have you think of this first and then go into the awareness, the commitment, always about you and being real. The last one is the understanding why you want to be in a relationship.

What do you expect from that relationship? What do you want to get out of it?

What are you there for? I can tell you that the majority of people who are in a relationship are in a relationship because they’re trying to get a sense of fulfillment. They’re trying to get a sense of safety. They’re trying to get a sense of being loved. They’re trying to fulfill the illusion that they aren’t lovable. What they usually do because they’re not authentic and they don’t feel okay, then they start pretending to be a certain way, which isn’t true for them. Therefore, they are never getting what it is that they really want anyway. Understanding why you want a relationship is very important.

Be authentic. Be you. Take time to be with yourself and determine what it is that you like. Click To Tweet

Since we know it’s all about me, it’s really important to look at what it is that you want. It doesn’t mean that it’s not okay to have all of those things, it’s that when you know that, and it isn’t working, you’re going to be able to take a look at where you have not been really fulfilling things. Have you not been aware? Have you not been being authentic? Have you not been communicating clearly? All those things that we spoke about, you can pretty much depend on one or more of those things being out of sync.

The ultimate thing about this is that you’ll be in a relationship because you are so filled with the love of who you are. You are filled with the excitement and the adventure of life that you don’t need anything, but you want to be with somebody to share. Augment your life and theirs but you’re not pulling on each other and trying to get yourself to be filled up. When somebody says, “You complete me,” I want to go, “No, be complete and share your completeness with another complete person and then you’re augmented.” When you’re going to be with a thought process that you need to be with someone because you’re not okay the way you are, if you don’t have enough self-love, self-respect, self-discipline, if you don’t have enough of any of these kinds of things in your core then that partner will not be able to fulfill that for you. They can only show you what you are. That’s an important key. Determine for yourself, “What am I looking for? What am I trying to get out of the relationship?”

I went through this a while ago and it made a huge difference for me when I looked at it like this. If I’m in a relationship because I want someone to love me, I want someone to take care of me even though I would never say that, but whatever the real reasons are, I’m pulling energy from the other person to me. The shift that I made with you, which has been huge, is all I want to do is give. I want to give to you and I know that whatever it is, it will come back. Shifting from expectation to giving has made a huge difference. Do you feel that?

I do feel that that’s true and I do feel that you’ve made some serious shifts in that regard. It’s also important to be conscious when you’re giving that you are not giving with that subconscious thought that, “If I’m really nice to them all the time, I’ll give them everything they want. Then they’re going to be nice to me and give me what it is that I feel like I’m wanting.”

What we’ll talk about again later in the shows is about giving in relationships from overflow. When you’re in overflow, you feel good about yourself, your vibration is high, and when you are feeling the love of life, it’s easy to give. You can’t give if you don’t have anything in there to give.

RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

Getting Relationship Right: When a person doesn’t feel like they have anything to do with what’s going on in the relationship, it means that they’re not in an understanding that they’re responsible for what goes on in their life.

 

It’s like trying to buy a company when you have no money in your bank account, it’s not going to happen.

We hope you enjoy those six points. The six points are awareness, commitment, it’s always about you, communication is king, being real and transparent, and understanding why you want to be in a relationship in the first place. We’re going to be going into the section, Ask E, where we’ve received a bunch of questions from people to Ask E. We encourage you to give us your questions, email them, and put them in the comments. We have a couple that we’ve already received after our first episode. We’ll be addressing those. We’re going to start the Ask E segment, where you can ask anything related to relationships or otherwise that you have on your mind that you would like some clarity. One of the questions we got, we had some people over and this person was telling us that she could not get that she was responsible or believe that she had anything to do with the way her partner was acting. She couldn’t understand. Can you address some things that she could think about to help her get back on track and see it in a more productive light?

This usually occurs when we’re new at self-responsibility and recognizing that we’re very powerful. We can create literally anything, and we may or may not know that. When we move over into the understanding that life is happening because of our perception and our perception is what is creating our happy, sad, mad or glad, then things shift a lot. When a person doesn’t feel like they have anything to do with what’s going on in the relationship, it means that they’re not in an understanding that they are responsible for what goes on in their life. They’re not clear that it is not about them, it’s about what’s going on over here. When somebody communicates that somebody else’s the problem, they’re blaming. If you’re blaming, you’re certainly not in self-responsibility.

Most people don’t want to take responsibility because they feel guilty. They feel guilty because, “If I accept that, then I have to look at pieces of myself that I judge. If I judge, other people are going to judge. If other people judge it, then they’re not going to like me. If they don’t like me, that means probably nobody’s going to like me or love me. If I’m not loved and lovable, then I’ll be alone. If I’m alone, I don’t know that I could take care of myself and if I can’t take care of myself, what’s going to happen? I’ll be out on the street. If I’m not on the street, I’m probably going to die.” As extreme as that may seem, the subconscious mind that is based on survival thinks that way under the covers.

It’s a core necessity.

Relationships are there to help you know who you are and how magnificent you truly are. Click To Tweet

It’s a survival skill and it’s a core belief system that we have. It’s there because it helps keep us alive. When it goes down the rabbit hole, then who wants to go there? If I accept responsibility and it’s my fault, then the thought process goes down. It’s about understanding that it is always about us and we can handle it being about us when we have a higher level of self-confidence and self-esteem. That’s one of the things that when I’m working with people, I help them recognize that it’s not much even that it’s about over there, it’s that, “Who am I and what’s great about me?” We don’t know what’s great about us and when we do say that, then we say, “They’re egomaniacs and narcissistic.” I would tell you, whoever it is who wrote that, I invite you to look at the thing that the person is reflecting you. Ask yourself, where it is that you got that from? That’s the important thing.

What you’re saying is to love a selfish, underlying everything it’s about loving yourself and being okay with yourself no matter what that is. Another question we got is, “What is the one piece of advice you would give to your brother or your sister about relationships?”

Always be yourself, be authentic, be you. When you start out in any area of life, especially relationship and you aren’t authentic, you are pretending that you are someone else. It gets old fast. You can’t remember how you’re supposed to be. It’s like somebody who lies. They start out lying and pretty soon they can’t remember the lie that they told. They’re telling more lies to cover up the first lie when in reality they’re a complete mess. They are now confused about what’s true and what isn’t. The same thing happens with our own self-esteem and our own sense of self-love. Because of that, we start making stuff up and we model people we don’t even know. We think that’s cool, so we be like them.

Especially the kids nowadays, they will just find somebody who looks popular and they’ll start being like them. They don’t even know who it is that they are themselves. Because they don’t, they start modeling other people and sometimes modeling other people’s not such a great thing. Be authentic, be you, take time to be with yourself and determine what it is that you like. What is it that you don’t like? What is it that you would be paid money for to do all of your life because that brings you joy? What’s true in you?

If you’re not authentic, if you’re not real, if you can’t be that way then what that is a sign of you don’t know who you are. That should be the tip off then that that is a symptom of a bigger issue within yourself to look at and address. We have one question and this person wrote in, “I’ve been single for a long time. How come I can’t get a relationship? I want one.” What would you say to her?

RDD 2 | Getting Relationship Right

Getting Relationship Right: Be astutely aware of when you are being yourself and when you are not.

 

I would say that whenever we need something, we will rarely get it and if we do, it doesn’t work out. It’s about what I was speaking about. We cannot expect to pull a relationship in when it’s all about what we need. Part of the reason that we’re even on this planet is to learn how amazing we are and how capable we are. If you’re constantly looking for somebody else to make that so for you, then you will be unable to fulfill a very lasting or whatever kind of relationship. It takes you away from the truth of whom it is that you are completely capable. Therefore, if you really want a relationship, then you are probably in need of something else that you think the relationship is going to support you with or fulfill that empty hole for you.

What I would do is do a lot of introspection and look at what is it that I feel I need to feel whole, complete, loved and lovable because there’s something in there. The moment that you can see that even if it’s not completely cleaned up, then a relationship can come and be very supportive of you. Remember that relationships are personal development on steroids. They’re here to help you know who you are and how magnificent you truly are.

The lack of a relationship is telling you where you’re starting from on the personal development scale.

You can become so connected and so self-reliant that your whole life is about filling up and perhaps giving to a million people. Not wanting to take the time and the energy to focus on one. You’re really working with the masses.

In the course of our work, I’ve heard so many women say once they stopped looking to have one, stop wanting to have one and working on themselves, that perfect relationship would manifest and would just show up. That was never a concern. That was the way out. That was the way into the relationship by letting go of it.

That’s true in other areas of our life as well. If we are trying to get something, we ended up cutting off the energy of receiving it. That’s an important piece.

Thank you. I appreciate those answers. I’m sure those people will as well. If you have any questions, email Esateys@Esateys.com. We’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and please subscribe. Make sure you subscribe so you can hear, get on our future podcast. We’ll be doing them once a week and they’ll be coming your way. We happen to have an enormous amount of fun doing them. Please join us. The last thing that we’re going to leave you with is our segment of Living in the World of Possibility. We have a question. Esateys will give you a question and talk about why this is so important.

The question is rhetorical. It’s not about you coming up with an answer. It’s not about figuring out any answer at all. It is truly about setting the thought into the process, into the air, out into the universe and allowing the mind like a Google search machine rush out there. Find the different kinds of answers that will be best supportive of what it is that you are asking. The mind is always thinking, being, doing whatever. How about you determining what you have in your mind think about? That’s part of what this is about. It teaches you how to monitor your thoughts.

What if I was willing to be myself? What’s fun about that is you will become more conscious of when you aren’t being yourself and you can go, “That was interesting. I can see.” When you say something that wasn’t what you were really thinking or when you do something you didn’t want to do. That happens a lot. Especially around holidays, birthdays and all of those other days, we feel a certain level of obligation, “They’re my family,” whatever your thought is. Those are the times to pay close attention and be astutely aware of when you are being yourself and when you are not. What if I was willing to be myself?

Our recommendation is to write that down, put it on your bathroom mirror or by your bed. Ask yourself that question before you nod off to sleep or when you wake up in the morning and see what happens.

Your mind will be off searching and giving you answers that you never even knew were available. It’s profound. I invite you to write to me at Esateys@Esateys.com. Give us your comments and send us questions to that email address or if you have questions about anything else, let us know. We are here for you.

We’ll be looking forward to being with you. Hit the subscribe button and keep joining us and tell your friends. We have so many cool things to talk about. We’re so happy to be sharing it with you. Have an awesome, great, incredible week.

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Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.

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