RDD 31 | The Game Called Life


Pretty much every single person is experiencing pain and suffering until they recognize that they are experiencing the game called life. In this episode, Esateys and Rafael Stuchiner examine the question of what would it take for us to live at ease in this game? Like any game, the purpose of our life is to have fun, to do something different than what we were doing before, and to stretch out of the place where it is “normal” for us. You don’t necessarily have to live in a world with pain and suffering. The universe is always conspiring to make your life more awesome than you could ever dream or imagine.

Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here:

The Game Called Life

Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy

This is another moment of transparency. Let’s start off that way. When Rafael told me that we were going to talk about the game called life, first of all, I don’t remember we said that last time that we’re going to do that. What immediately came up from me was that’s too comprehensive, it’s too deep, all the things. I realized that I had a flittering of resistance inside of myself. I have all these ideas that this is powerful, intense and life-changing that I did not know how I could do this conversation in such a short period of time.

I had incredible confidence that you would find the perfect way. What inspired this was we were talking about certain things and about our resistance. You use that term at one point, the game called life. I thought that it was time to introduce this concept because it is one of the foundations of your work. Understanding its bigger perspective and what is available if we’re willing to look at it openly will make major changes in your life and give you a tremendous place of expansion and opportunity.

This may stretch your mind and you might feel a lot of different feelings about what I’ll say. You may think it’s very cool or this is a bunch of garbage. You may feel apprehensive or disbelief or you may feel whatever you feel. The biggest, most important thing to remember is to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Simultaneously, observe how you’re feeling to the point where you stayed open to knowing that this could take you beyond where it is that your mind knows to go, which is the most profound experience that you could possibly ever hope for. I’m going to dive right in unless you have something to say.

No, that’s cool, go for it.

When I say the game called life, it’s not that I am trying to be flippant, rather I am holding the space, the awareness and the knowingness that the world that we live in is an illusion. You’ve all heard that before. This isn’t something that you’ve never heard of. Maybe you’ve heard different words. We live in a dream. There are things that have been said in a lot of different religious venues about waking up from the dream and all those other kinds of things. This is my awareness take on this whole thing. Let’s think about for a moment that if we speak about God, spirit, creator, energy, source or whatever word you use as the is-ness and it is in this state of being is-ness. I think of it like a big blob of energy in the sky so to speak. It’s not really in the sky, it’s everything and everywhere. What occurs is the desire to expand its own awareness.

This is where it gets tricky because it doesn’t have a desire but there’s no other way to speak it in human terms. There is an internal explosion of new thought and desire to expand and know itself at a higher level than it currently does. When we’re in the blob and we’re in the being-ness, there’s nothing to identify yourself with and from there comes the polarity. The polarity appears to be outside of yourself and you are looking at the way that you are not. If you are all things, if you are a fertile energy field called life that doesn’t have any form whatsoever and you desire to know what that unformed is-ness can do, it will create a sense of form, which is a way to get to know oneself.

You appear to be everything you are not. When you appear to be everything that you are not, that is an illusion because who you are, this is-ness is not changeable and malleable. You can’t kill it. You can’t do anything with it. If you wanted to play a game with yourself, you could pretend that you are not all the things that you are. I’m sure all of you have heard of the game hide and seek. What occurs is that the source of whom it is that you truly are, it hides and then it pretends that it’s going to go find itself. It is seeking and the seeking piece is the illusionary piece of itself. It is able to run around in this make-believe world that we have. It seems real, serious and intense because if we knew what we were doing, then that wouldn’t be any fun at all. There would be no game to contend with or nothing to do that was outside of being-ness. I’m going to take a moment here and let me know if I’m making sense here.

You went out there pretty far quickly. Maybe we could make this more understandable by answering this question. What is the purpose of this game? You’ve attempted to explain this amorphous growing of itself, but what’s the purpose of the actual game?

Like any game, the purpose of the game is to have fun, to do something different than what you were doing before, to stretch out of the place where it is “normal” for you. In doing so, it’s not like the game called life has some very deep and intense purpose from one perspective. Some will think that there are and there are many different layers of purpose. In the bigger picture, the purpose is to be and pretend that you are not what you truly are. It’s a pretend way to experience something that you otherwise would not be able to experience. When you’re the being-ness or the is-ness, you don’t have the five senses and all the other senses which there are many of that you have the ability to experience when you have a dichotomy, when you have a form to play in. When you are not, you don’t have that experience. The experience is to experience everything that you’ve never experienced before.

Could you address, who are we actually and then put that in the context of the game? You say it a lot better than I do.

We become brighter every time we make known the unknown. Click To Tweet

Who we are actually is something that is not definable. It is not something that you can put in words. That’s the first issue.

That’s the problem when you’re doing a podcast, by the way.

It’s a big problem when you’re trying to describe something that’s not describable. I will do my best to pick words that will point you in the direction of what it is that I’m trying to convey. We are all that is. We are everything that is seen and unseen, known and unknown. We are a fertile shield of is-ness. We could use the word a creative, fertile shield, which isn’t exactly right, but that might give some definition to something. If we can understand that we are all of the things that we see, feel, know and don’t know, then some of you might go, because this might trigger some parts of you that have religious upbringing and things that say, “God is this somebody who sits in a chair and if he likes you, you get good things. If he doesn’t, he reigns on your parade or causes strife and difficulty in your life.”

That is not from where it is that I come and it’s also not what it is that I know to be true. If that is your belief system, you are so welcome to keep that. I’m not asking anybody to believe what it is that I say. I’m giving you a personal knowing of what my experience and my internal awareness is. That means we are everything that there is, everything that there isn’t, everything that you know, everything that you don’t know. This is why it’s very difficult because there are no words to describe. How you describe infinity, for example? Infinity means no limitations, no walls, no nothing. How can the mind perceive something that it can’t perceive? That’s why this gets tricky.

Is that why we have the game, to be able to explore the outer boundaries of who we are?

Yes, and to be able to experience things that you don’t experience. If you are not in form, you cannot experience what everybody does everything in their life to avoid, which is pain and suffering. The truth is pain and suffering according to who you are is not pain and suffering at all. It’s an experience. It’s what you are doing to see what it’s like to have something different than what you characteristically have.

Why it is important for us to understand that there is a game and what the game is about.

Pretty much every single person is experiencing pain and suffering. In fact, 100% of people do until they recognize that they are experiencing the game called life. That means that people will go many lifetimes and they will think that they are victims of the circumstances of life. Even when I was very young, I’d say these are the cards that I was dealt or whatever. That is totally based on victim and from one perspective, it looks like that. What happens is that when you start to realize that there’s more than what you think there is, then you start becoming inquisitive. When you start becoming inquisitive and curious and you start seeking or reaching out to know more about what is there that you don’t know, you become more aware and awake to what is available.

What’s out there? What’s a different perspective? What’s the bigger perspective? What’s the macro view? When you start looking for that unconsciously and/or consciously, what happens is your vibration starts to rise and you start seeing things from a much bigger viewpoint. You’ve heard me use this example many times before. If you are a little mouse and you are on the foot of an elephant, all you can see are these things coming out of what looks like a hole. They’re long strings or strands of something and it’s the hair on the elephant’s toe. From where that little mouse is, they don’t have any clue what they’re sitting on. If the mouse or the flea gets to the top of the head of the elephant and they look out, they have such a massive view of things.

Not only can they see the whole elephant, but they can see far beyond that and it’s stunning. It’s even frightening. You can imagine what it would be like. That’s like where we are. We live in this little tiny perspective. What we’re speaking about, when you start to wake up to the game called life, you start to become more aware, which means that it’s like you’re climbing up the leg of the elephant and you’re getting higher and higher. You can see a little bit more and once you can see the whole full meal deal, you go, “This is so funny. It’s so interesting. It’s so amazing.” From there you realize that all the things that you stressed over, all the things that you thought were so important, all the things that you caused yourself so much trauma, drama, pain, suffering and anguish over is nothing.

The only way to eliminate pain is to live entirely in the present. Pain only exists in the past or the future. Click To Tweet

It wasn’t even real because you’re playing a game. We are searching for something and we don’t even know what we’re searching for. We know on some level that we are living in a world of a dream. We are waking up from a dream and that’s what we’re talking about. When you do, you become more aware that this experience that you’re having has been a tremendous game. For those of you that watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. The crew goes up to the Holodeck and if you’re not familiar with Star Trek: The Next Generation, then search for that and put in Holodeck. The Holodeck is where they go, they sign in and they can make anything show up. What sometimes might show up would be a place in France where they are sitting at a table drinking wine with this amazing partner and all these incredible things are going on.

Perhaps they’re out in the middle of the wilderness fighting off snakes and big monsters. When they’re done playing, they walk over to the exit and they go, “End program,” and then they’re back to work. Life is like that. Until we know that, we usually will get it intellectually, but then we integrate it and we absolutely know it and then we reach a place where we actually be it. We will stay in a place that is asleep and uncomfortable. You will lighten up if you give yourself permission to take every moment of your life and pursue the truth. You’ve all heard the truth will set you free. This is like that.

Would you say that it’s like evolution? We are evolving from 200, 300 or 400 years ago and even beyond then we were apes. We came, we started evolving and we didn’t know what we were evolving into. As our evolutionary process continues, we are finding out and becoming different or more than what we used to be. This game called life is the opportunity, the platform for expanding our potentiality.

I would say platform is a good word because it is that which we are able to experience beyond what it is that we’ve ever experienced before. Every time we make known the unknown, we become a brighter light. We become more aware. We become more connected to whom it is that we truly are. This game called life is an expansive opportunity to have fun. Until you can open up to that as a possibility and you can start transmuting the pain and the suffering into something and become aware that you’re having fun even though you may not think so in the moment. Those of you that are still with me, please understand that there’s so much more to this.

I don’t look at it as the word transmuting. I would say that we get to see a different perspective. When we see the expansiveness, the things that made us unhappy, the things that kept us at a low vibration, the anger, the judgments, they all cease to be relevant. We get to a different place where none of that exists. We don’t know where we’re going, but we do know that there’s a way of transcending the unhappiness that we have.

RDD 31 | The Game Called Life

The Game Called Life: When you appear to be everything that you are not, that is an illusion because who you really are is not changeable.


I would say that it’s not transcending. It’s not even totally transmuting. What it is seeing it at such a different level from such a different vibration that it’s nothing. It doesn’t mean that pain and suffering necessarily goes away from one perspective. From another perspective, you don’t see it as pain anymore. You don’t see it as suffering.

How can we use this in our everyday life to make a difference?

The first thing that I would suggest is that if any part of this, even though it is way out there for some, maybe not so much for others, but if there’s any part of this that has any possibility of being so for you or if you’re saying to yourself, “What if she said was true?” Remember, I suggest that all the time. “What if she was saying something that I put myself in front of because I want to know what it is that I don’t know? I want to expand on what it is that I don’t know.” If you’re still reading, that is the case. What you are desiring to do is to learn more about how you can move away from the pain and into what we’ll call pleasure. That’s the first step. Ultimately, it’s that deep core curiosity to know thyself, to know who you are and know the truth of what’s going on.

Many people are born with this innate desire to know who am I and what am I doing here? That’s because they’re at a certain level of evolution. You may be at a completely different level of evolution, but my suspicion is that if you’re reading to this, you’re somewhere looking for answers in place or you wouldn’t even be reading this right now. One of the things that I would want to know if I was hearing this and I didn’t know what it is that I know is let’s just say that I want to know how to become more aware in this game called life if that in fact is what’s happening. I would tell you that the fastest and the most profound way to raise your vibration, raise your level of awareness, be in a place where things are seen, felt and experience completely different than where you probably mostly are, is to be in a state of nonresistance.

It is the most powerful and the most important thing you can do. What’s another way of saying be nonresistant? It means that you be here now. You’re 100% present in every moment. You know exactly what you’re doing, feeling, thinking, saying. You’re aware of when you are walking that your toes are feeling a certain way. You are aware that you are having the experience of a jumble in the belly or a tight throat or whatever the case may be. You have an awareness that there is a deep core desire that feels like perhaps an emptiness because you are seeking something to help you feel whole and complete.

What would it take for me to live in complete non-resistance? Click To Tweet

To do that, imprint on your mind, if you’re taking notes, write down, nonresistive living. That means that when something comes up, notice it. Observe the resistance. Observe what is going on, where you want to back away from it and instead of backing away, be right there with it and feel the feelings in your body wherever it is that you are noticing that tightness, that irritation, that tension. When you do that, what happens is it dissolves the resistance and that in and of itself will instantly shift your focus, your vibration, your attitude. Your body will relax into a greater level of flow which will allow you to be in a different state of awareness and consciousness.

When we talk about this, you often use the analogy of a football game. It’s about how players will go out on the field. They’ll knock each other around a bit and it will be so important at that moment.

Ultimately, it’s a matter of enjoying the game. I do use this analogy a lot because to me it’s such a good example. Anybody who has ever watched a football game or even one or two plays in a game might ask themselves, “What the heck are they doing?” They walk out there in the middle of the field and they put themselves in front of a semi coming at them and they are smashed and sometimes broken. They are having some difficult times with the combustion that’s going on there. They do this and then they will walk off the field or maybe even limp off the field and go, “Was that the most awesome game? This was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had before.” That happens all the time, especially if they’re the ones who won the game. From somebody else’s viewpoint it would be, “Are these people insane?” The game of life is like that. It looks like insanity to be here in the midst of all of the things that we are in the midst of and we are experiencing.

The truth is who you are does not see the pain, does not see the suffering, does not feel like this is such a difficult moment. Rather, it sees it as a gift to be able to feel, experience and go through many areas of life that you otherwise would not be able to do if you didn’t have a polarity to do that. I was speaking if you have everything together and everything is wonderful and peachy, then what would it be like if you had the opportunity to go see how the other half lives? A long time ago, I watched a show. It was in the early ’70s or something. I watched a soap opera at that time and it was called The Young and the Restless, which is still on TV. It’s a long-running time.

This guy who was very wealthy, his name was Victor. I can remember this from a long time ago and he was a billionaire or whatever. He was bored. He had everything. There was nothing he couldn’t do. There was nothing he couldn’t buy. He was nice looking. He had all of his ducks in a row and everything was looking good. He decided to pretend that he didn’t have those things. He left everything, his identity, his wallet, his credit cards. He went out and he lived on the streets to see what it was like to be in a place that was opposing the place that he was living and how his life had been. To me, that is such the perfect analogy of what we are doing. Every single one of us is here on this planet, living out this script, this role that we’re playing. We want to see what it’s like to not have it all together, to see what it’s like to not be in bliss all of the time, to see what it’s like to morph into something completely different than where it is that we are living.

RDD 31 | The Game Called Life

The Game Called Life: This game called life is an expansive opportunity to really have fun.


You were talking a couple of minutes ago and I didn’t want to interrupt you about the insanity of some of the things that we do. What came to my mind that wraps right into this whole concept of the game is that we pretty much said we’re not in control of our lives. Things happen and we’re not in control of them. How insane is it to think that we can’t control or modify it and so if we don’t go with it that is the nonresistive part? What insanity are we creating and then recreating?

This opens up another whole Pandora’s Box because people are desiring to control everything. The reason that we want to control everything. We have developed a belief system that I call a program, which is sometimes called a personality or is sometimes called an ego. They’re not exactly interchangeable, but for the purpose of this, we’ll use that. This personality, this ego or this program is coming from the place of its own existence. What that means is it is sourced or fed by pain, conflict, suffering. When you start to move into a state of nonresisting and you are allowing things to be as they are, you are no longer feeding this program, the ego, the personality. It then starts to wither away. It has an actual survival instinct. It will start becoming very active and it will increase that inner critic voice by 100,000. It will start to bring in trauma and drama into your life. It will do whatever it can to get you to fall back into some conflict so it can be fed. If you do not, it literally starves to death. If you do, it will become revived and will take you another week, month, year, twelve lifetimes, whatever it does. It keeps its hands around your throat because it doesn’t go away as long as you’re feeding it.

Whatever you feed most is going to continue to grow. To me, that’s the whole essence of the whole polarity thing that we talk about. You get to a high. One of the things that Esateys talked about brings us back into what I’ll call the polarity, into the negativeness. We go round and round. It’s a game. We have an eight-month-old puppy who loves to play with his little ball. We play fetch with him all the time. His new game is to catch the ball, come up, jump on the couch and drop the ball behind the cushion so we have to get it. That’s the game. It doesn’t matter. He does it over and over again. He enjoys it because he’s in the moment doing it. That’s the kind of thing that we’re talking about. That’s what life is all about.

Puppies are such great places to observe because when you observe their innate continuous curiosity and their ability to play on such a level that I find it warms my heart so much. I can barely stand it. This little guy, he will take one kibble of dog food and it will be in the middle of the floor and he will run at it. He jumps back and then he takes his foot, slaps it across the floor and then runs in circle around it. He picks it up and throws it in the air. I’m stunned at how he can make happy out of anything. That is such a good example of how we could live our lives no matter what is happening.

This has been a fascinating conversation. I hope we haven’t taken people beyond their limits. It is just the beginning. What I’d like to do, this is a little different. We’re not going to do our normal question because of the length of this message. Can you give a summary and the takeaway for this game called life?

We don't know what we don't know! Click To Tweet

The truth is this is not even scratching the surface of what it is that I would like to go into with you. We have a retreat which we’re going to be doing in October. I’m going to be covering the game called life in that retreat. It’s a three-day retreat here in Oregon and that’s something to be thinking about. This is October of 2019. If you’re reading this much later, then contact us and we’ll let you know when we’re doing it otherwise. What I want you to be aware of here is that there is so much more to life than you know, no matter how much you think you know. In fact, the more you know, the less you know because there is no limitation to what it is that is available for us to grow into and expand into.

The real importance of the game called life from a human standpoint is that when you embrace this, when you live from this perspective, when you integrate the truth about this, your pain goes away. The bottom line is your pain goes away. Everything that’s happening is seen so differently that it’s a magnificent moment of joy and ecstasy. You find that there is bliss in everything including that which in the past you would have thought was a horrendous experience. It all is transformed into something completely different. If you are desiring or ready to let go of the perceived pain and suffering, then you want to pursue this.

You want to learn more. You want to ask yourself, what else can I learn about this? What else is there for me to know about this? I call this forth or whatever words you would use. We have done a two-CD set called Waking Up from the Game Called Life: Fracturing The Hologram of Illusion. We did this several years ago. Rafael and I did it together and it gives you a more comprehensive and maybe a little easier to understand version of what it is that I’m speaking about here. That’s something that you might want to consider purchasing from us. How do they do that, Rafael?

It’s on our website. You go to Esateys.com/game. It’s $19.95. It’s two CDs. We have it in the downloadable form if you would prefer that and it will put everything in perspective for you. I’m glad that you mentioned that.

After you get through that, write down your questions and send them to us. Get engaged at a higher level and learn more about how you can eliminate your pain and suffering. You don’t need to live like that. You have to wake up to what’s happening here on our planet so you do not feel victimized and you do not feel like you have no say so. The control that we are desperately utilizing every minute with pretty much is not a necessity when you learn about what it is that I’m speaking about. You will see that what’s happening is in your very best interest to help you wake up and move through the labyrinth, the maze or the game called life. You’ve many times heard me say the universe is always conspiring to make my life more awesome than I could ever dream or imagine.

RDD 31 | The Game Called Life

The Game Called Life: We are not in control of our lives, so it’s insane to think that we can modify it.


It truly is, and when you understand and go deeper into some of the concepts that I’ve spoken about, you will see how accurate that statement is. You will see that hindsight will become your foresight in every moment of your life because you will be absolutely standing straight in the moment. Remember that the key here is to be incredibly present in this very moment. Your pain, your suffering is only going to come if you’re in the future with your thoughts or in the past with your thoughts. Right here, right now, you’re okay. You’re still breathing. From there, you’ll find that the ability to move into nonresistance is a very powerful tool and a skillset to develop that will completely support your awakening much more rapidly.

Would you give us the question of the day that you have around this? Because I took a look at it and it’s so powerful.

What would it take for me to live at ease in the game called life? You can substitute the word in nonresistance. What would it take for me to live in nonresistance in the game called life? It’s a tall order. I’ve been doing this for a lot of years to get to the place where I am now. I support you and never ever giving up. No matter how awake, how advanced or what level you’re at, either barely waking up or very awake, it never ends. When you ask yourself this question, “What would it take for me to live in complete ease in this game called life?” You are inviting the universe to show you what it takes to be at peace and live in a state of nonresistance.

Can you imagine what your life would be like without all of the resistance and without all of the pain and suffering that we create in our mind?

Yeah, it’s very amazing.

RDD 31 | The Game Called Life

The Game Called Life: Imagine what your life would be like without all of the resistance and without all of the pain and suffering that we create in our mind.


We will be back with another episode. I’m glad that we got an opportunity to speak with you about this subject. We do invite your questions. Please write to us and we want to hear from you.

I want to invite you with a lot of strengths and request that you comment or send me information about this show. If it was too far way out there for you, I want to know that. If it intrigued you a bit, I want to know that. If you thought it was insane, I want to know that. We are here for you and we want to provide for you things that will stretch you out of your box. It will maybe make you a little uncomfortable, but ultimately it will help you become more connected to who you truly are and live your day-to-day world in a state of not just happiness but pure, unadulterated joy to where you know that every moment is a gift that is there for you to completely embrace.

We’ve often called Esateys and she calls herself The Option Queen.

These are options that I give you. Every one of these episodes is to give you an option of something else to consider. If it fits for you, terrific. If it doesn’t, terrific. Just know that whatever it is that works for you, works for you and simultaneously notice if you have resistance to it and say to yourself, “What if what she said could possibly be true?” Stay in that open state of curiosity.

We’ll see you on the next episode.

Have the most amazing week of your life so far. Feel a hug.

Important Links:

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!
Join the Relationships Done Different Community today:

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This