RDD 14 | Unconditionality Of Dogs


Dogs are one of the most amazing animals we can learn valuable lessons in life from. They are intelligent, sensitive, and could be a powerful teacher by the way they think and handle things. In this positively insightful conversation, explore the unconditionality of dogs and why that is so important for us. Learn about the relationship between humans and dogs and how we can apply them with any kind of relationship. We all know dogs are authentic and dedicated to happiness and are in a constant state of unconditional giving, expressing the love you could never have imagined. If we could emulate the traits of a dog and live the way they do, our lives would be much happier.

Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here:


The Unconditionality Of Dogs And Why That Is So Important For Us

This is going to be an exceptional show because we are going to be talking about the unconditionality of our dogs and why that’s so important to us? We’ve had dogs for many years.

I’m so excited about this show because I am such an animal person. I am especially a dog person and a horse person. I was born and raised on a farm. I wasn’t born on the farm. I was born in a city, but then we moved to the farm when I was in the sixth grade. From that time, I’ve always had a gazillion animals. I’m an animal person. When we decided to do this show on dogs, I became very excited because dogs are amazing. I want to tell you that all animals are amazing. Dogs are what it is that we’re going to focus on. I call all dogs puppies because they’re precious.

What I was experiencing with my Lowchen, which is KaJai-a. You may have seen him on my Facebook page. I’ve done a lot of training with him. He is so incredibly smart, intuitive and connected that when I need some help, he helps me. I feed the dogs in the morning. The dishes are all over because there’s four of them. I will ask KaJai-a to help me load the dishwasher. I opened the dishwasher. He goes and he picks up all of the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher for me one at a time. He puts the spoons in the spoon dish area, not throwing them in the dishwasher. He is pretty awesome.

Before we came here, I had something to eat. Sometimes we’ll put a bowl down and I don’t give them a lot of scraps, but they get to lick bowl because they think that’s something special. When you were a little kid, you remember and you would ask your mom for the beater from the bowl when she made stuff. Some of you probably aren’t old enough to know that mothers used to do that. In the old days, they made stuff with a mixer. We’d all sit around and begged to lick the things so we could have the cookie dough or whatever.

These are cheap important things for me. That was an awesome thing. Isn’t it great when you remember something wonderful from your childhood? How many of you can remember something wonderful from your childhood? I’m a little bit off track here because I’m in such a great space. I’m getting ready to come out to do the podcast and I realize there were dishes on the floor. There was a bowl way down the hallway. I’m loading the dishwasher. I said to KaJai-a, “Go down there and get that bowl for me?” He darts down the hallway, picks up the bowl and brings it to me. How cool is that?

He gets over the extended dishwasher and plops it in.

He’s pretty exceptional. The truth is animals are such powerful teachers for us. They are incredibly intelligent. They’re incredibly sensitive. They have a way about them that can serve us in our personal attitude, our energy and our good humor or not. They’re also incredibly great teachers the way they handle things and the way that they think. One of the things that are important to remember as I speak throughout this time is that everything in life is an opportunity for us to grow ourselves. We are the ultimate relationship academy, a self-development company.

That means that everything that we talk about, whether it be relationships or puppies or the way you be with your money or anything else, it’s always about self-development. Here’s the thing, the universe is from one perspective, one massive opportunity to give ourselves a chance to see things from whatever perspective that we want. When we bring this back to the dogs and we bring it back to the relationships, what I want to share with you are many things. One of them is that if you observe a puppy for example, you will notice that they are very dedicated to one thing, happiness.

They are dedicated to being happy. Pleasing you is the second piece of what it is that’s about, which also makes them happy. We have a puppy, a toy poodle. His name is Karaja. He is barely five months old. This dog is so amazing. I will give him a kibble, a piece of dog food. He takes that. He puts it on the floor. He throws it in the air. He runs around it like he is an Indian at the campfire. He picks it up and throws it again. He comes back, he bats it back and forth with his paws. He finds so much joy in the most simple of things. He is such a grand teacher. He is amazing in the way that he perceives his life.

When you have a relationship that doesn’t look like how you would like it to be, are you like that little puppy, not the batting around the park, not running around it in a circle? It’s about how you are being, how you’re acting about what’s in front of you. You’ll have a partner in front of you and maybe they say something that doesn’t make you happy. You could be like a puppy’s attitude and go, “Wow,” as you’ve probably heard us say before, “What’s great about this that I haven’t seen yet,” or you can literally put yourself in the position of what a puppy sees. Put the puppy glasses on, the lenses that they see through and like, “This is very cool.”

You can hear their mind as they are doing what it is that they’re doing. What does that mean? It means that they’re focusing only on that one thing and that is, “How can I make this an awesome thing?” This is what you can do. Let’s say that your partner says something that doesn’t make you so happy. What are your choices? You can be like the puppy and look at it like, “What can I make great out of this that I haven’t or perhaps I haven’t even thought about?” You can and if you think with the level of innocence that a puppy does, what you’ll find is that you will be able to do this. You’ll have fun. You will shift the entire perception about what it is that is going on.

These puppies of ours, you mentioned they want to be happy. To me when I see them playing like that, Karaja in particular, he wants to have fun doing anything. You probably already got it that we are very prejudiced and love our puppies. You have to please bear with us because we have some good points.

Everything in life is an opportunity for us to grow ourselves. Click To Tweet

Here’s another thing that you can think about, become an amazing observer if you have a dog or if you don’t, then be the observer of other people’s dogs, learn how they work. They wake up and they are so excited to see you. You can clone yourself and be like them. You can wake up in the morning and you can be so excited to be alive. In fact, you could say to yourself, “I love my life.” When you do that, you start your day off with a completely different experience than you would otherwise. Another thing that can happen is that when you observe a dog and the way they are, let’s say that you yell at them because of something, think about how you yell at someone else, a partner or a child or whomever and what happens?

Their energy gets very low. If you yell at a dog, you’ll usually see that their head will go down, their ears will drop. Sometimes they even dropped to the floor. They feel bad and somewhat injured. When you are yelling or being unkind to a partner, they feel the same way. It doesn’t matter whether it was a legitimate reason that you raised your voice. The thing to be conscious about is what it does to the person and to the environment. When you are consciously aware of that, then what occurs is that you can choose differently. You are the power, remember that. This is where being a puppy is not necessarily as easy as it is being human. A human can consciously say, “They have something going on.” Most dogs won’t. They are so connected to you as their God almost that they take this as a harsh way of getting them to do what it is that you want them to do.

What I got from what you were saying, like the puppy, we have a choice. We have a choice about being happy, wanting to be happy, doing it and having fun while we’re doing it. The whole key here is it’s our choice. We are not in effect if we don’t let other things bother us.

The second one is sensitivity. The sensitivity factor is a very important thing. Sensitivity is aligned with compassion. When you realize that your puppy, partner, child, neighbor or whoever is a very sensitive being, even if they don’t seem like they are, they are very sensitive. They usually are boarded up or blocked up in a way that keeps them from feeling the pain. In fact, think about yourself. Where do you wall up so you don’t feel pain? If you recognize that they are sensitive, then your job is to bring up and express compassion. Compassion is when you are allowing the other person from one perspective, give them a little leeway. Understand that in a degree of sensitivity. How uncomfortable that is, that they might need a moment to gather themselves, to come back into their center or back on track. A puppy is the same way. If you cloud up and rain all over and scream at them that is so startling that they don’t even know how to respond.

One of the things that you can do is you can be compassionate with the animal. You can say, “Karaja,” I’m not screaming at the top of my lungs or any one of our dogs I could say that too. It breaks their attention and the nastiness in the voice is not there. It interrupts what it is that they’re doing. If you’re with a person and they’re doing something or saying something that’s hurtful to you, one of the ways that you can respond to them is by saying, “From what I’m hearing you say, it seems like you’re pretty upset. Is that true?” Sometimes people say, “No, that’s not true.” They will be. You give them a break, be compassionate and understand that we don’t like to admit when we’re doing something that doesn’t look awesome. If we are confronted with, “You seem to be upset,” and that person has a judgment that being upset is not okay, they’re going to deny that.

You can either say something or not say the sentence of, “Is that true for you?” You can make the “assumption,” which is always a tricky word. You can say, “From the tone of your voice and from the words that you’re using, it appears to me that you’re pretty upset.” You can leave it right there. If you feel like you want to add more, you can say, “Is there anything I can do that can support you right now?” That comes from a compassionate place instead of coming at them like, “Why in the hell did you say that? What’s that supposed to mean? You’re bringing up the past again.” The tone of voice and the words that you’re using immediately bring up the shield, sword and everything. We’re ready for battle. That’s where so many conversations go that caused so much difficulty.

RDD 14 | Unconditionality Of Dogs

Unconditionality Of Dogs: If you think with the level of innocence that a puppy does, you will be able to shift the entire perception about what it is that is going on.


I would like to add another perspective because this whole conversation has given me a huge insight. One of the dogs did something and I started screaming at the dog. I don’t remember exactly what he did. Here’s what happened. It hit me like a bell went off of my head that said, “You sound like your father and like your father used to speak to you.” It was such an incredible gift to see that even though I wasn’t intentionally doing it, I pick this up and in order to get attention, in order to demand adherence to what I was saying, to be forceful, I was doing exactly what my dad did with me. That was huge because I realized that’s not the way I want to be. When you shifted over to talking about humans, when you were talking about the dogs and people, I did the same thing with people. If I’m going off on someone, it’s not necessarily me. It’s this underlying program that keeps repeating itself. I was lost to it.

That is an awesome awareness, Rafael.

My dad used to scare me when he used to do that. When you were talking about how the dogs would react, I was right with you again.

This is something that happens with dogs as well and people. I’m putting them side by side because it is the same way, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” When you cloud up and rain all over another person, you’re going to do the same with a dog. You do it with a dog. You’re going to do it with other people. You can see your patterns. When you have awareness about your patterns, that’s when you are ideally in a state of Nirvana because you can see the pattern, which means that you can choose differently. The real issue in life is when we don’t know what we don’t know. We’re going through life and what we’re focusing on is making the unknown known. One of the best ways to do that is to enhance your awareness quotient, which is important. I’ve done a program called AQDQ, Awareness Quotient and Desire Quotient. This is a powerful online program. There’s a way to increase your awareness level which is something that you might want to think about. It’s on the website, Esateys.com and goes to programs.

Awareness is key, it’s so important. We’re here with the dogs. We’re recognizing that we’ve screamed at them. They shut down. They feel bad. They feel like a worm of the dust like a child does, even an adult does when they are yelled at. People choose kindness. If you do not come from a place of openhearted kindness, you are setting precedence in your own DNA. You are literally changing your physicality into one that is damaging to other people much of the time because we light off. We go into an auto response. That means that our body is coming from a poor attitude or what another way of looking at it as low vibration. When you do that, you do that more than once, twice and three times, pretty soon it becomes a very deeply ingrained habit. It’s a concept. It’s a belief. It’s every one of those things. It repeats itself because it goes on autopilot. Then we don’t even know what it is that we’re doing. We definitely have become unconscious. We start hurting other people. Ultimately, it’s always hurting us ourselves.

The other thing I was thinking about when you said that is that a puppy is like a newborn child. When we’re newborn and we start to get to experience our outer world, parents and environment, we are happy. Kids get into everything. They crawl in every which direction. They’re exploring because there are no limitations. Like our puppies, our children do exactly the same thing. We have to be cognizant of not shutting them down in the same way we were speaking about.

We have a choice about being happy, wanting to be happy, doing it, and having fun while we're doing it. Click To Tweet

It’s a very important principle what you were saying. We have another puppy, TaShon. He is a toy Labradoodle. He came from Australia. He’s a multi-generation labradoodle. He is fifteen years old now. This guy is so precious. His tail is always wagging. All you have to do is look at him and say, “Wag your tail.” He wags his tail. He is amazing. He has bad arthritis. He limps a lot. He can’t see very well. He can’t hear worth a darn, but he’s a happy puppy. It’s amazing. I’m in the bathroom, I’m putting on my makeup and there was like a tennis ball for the dogs. He doesn’t play as much as he used to, especially by himself. He walked over. He pulled that ball out from underneath the edge of the sink at the cabinet there. He started to swat it with his feet and he ran after it.

He walks pretty slowly most of the time but not always. He got the ball. He picked it up. He threw it. He’s 105 years old human-wise and he is still being a puppy. He is still living in a state of innocence. He lives in a state of joy, even though he hurts. He has all of these other things are going on. He has prostate cancer issues and all kinds of things. He doesn’t even let that stop him. His attitude is something that could be revered and is revered by me. I look at him. I go, “Whatever I think I’ve got going on, get over it. Look at this guy.” He’s an amazing teacher. He always has been. It’s quite phenomenal.

What Esateys didn’t say is that we’ve had him since he was eight weeks when he came from Australia. He’s been my boy for all these years. He has to see me walk in the room. He lights up. When that happens, my heart opens because no matter what’s going on, I get a wagging tail. That starts my tail wagging.

There is nothing like coming home and having your best friend there so excited. It doesn’t even matter if you were in a bad mood when you left or even if you’re in a bad mood when you come home, they’re going to love on you like crazy. They are not going to sit in the corner and pout because three hours ago you raised your voice at them. Hopefully, you don’t raise your voice at your animals and you stay conscious. You use that as a self-development tool. You’ll be aware of how you’re being. Some people think that animals are less than or don’t deserve the same respect, the same compassion and the same love. They are as important as anything that you will have in your life. They are the opportunity for you to grow yourself into the person that you truly desire to be and express yourself the way that you would truly like to be.

TaShon, in particular, if one of us happens to be physically sick or emotionally sad, he will recognize that and he’ll jump in bed with us. He’ll snuggle in. He’s transmuting.

Dogs, cats, and other animals, they transmute energy. What that means is that they can take lower vibrating energies or energies of illness, things of that nature and literally transmute them into a different form of energy. That’s a gift that they give us. They are in a continuous state of giving. They’re the most unconditional way of giving, being in expressing a love that you can ever imagine. We can’t complete any of this without talking about Miss America. Her real name is K-Keela. She’s the only girl. She’s the only bit of estrogen in the little pack here. She has her very own way of thinking and feeling. She’s very much a girl. She is a moody some of the time.

RDD 14 | Unconditionality Of Dogs

Unconditionality Of Dogs: The real issue in life is when we don’t know what we don’t know.


Some women are like that. I do not consider myself moody, but then see we only see ourselves through the glasses that we wear. That means that if you’re wearing those lenses and that’s what you see in me, and we know that everything reflects back to us, then we know that moody means that you’re moody. I get to look at it and get to be with it the way I am. We’re being totally authentic. Speaking of authenticity, the dogs are so authentic. If they’re happy, they’re happy. If they’re sad, they’re sad. When we came out here, we left the dogs in the other part of the house.

When I start at the door and I turn around and say, “We have to go do some work, everybody’s energy drops. The three of the four of them wait altogether basically piled on top of each other, waiting for us to come back. They sit there and they wait until we come back. It’s that dedication that is incredibly heartwarming. It’s truly amazing that they are so authentic. It doesn’t mean that they walk around in happy land all the time, but pretty much most of the time. When we go back in there, it will be like we had been gone for a week, a month or a year.

They will be hysterical. KaJai-a will be jumping up and yelling out loud and Karaja will doing the same. TaShon will be working his way up off the floor and wagging his tail as best he can. The animals, the dogs, they are amazing teachers. They are amazing mirrors. They are the ability for you to see what unconditionality is. It is important for you because everywhere you look, you have an opportunity to refocus and decide how you want to be. What person do you want to be? If we talk about some of the things that we’ve spoken about with the dogs, they enjoy virtually all the time. Secondly, they’re incredibly sensitive. Thirdly, they are living in a place where they are very aware. They’re always watching you see what it is that you have to go on and they then respond accordingly.

They only know kindness unless they’d been backed into the corner, where they’re being beaten or threatened in which case, their natural instinct to protect themselves is going to come up. A few are even moderately kind. They will be kind at times a gazillion back to you. They transmute for you. They transmute your energy that is not congruent with your own energy, perhaps at that moment. As I said, they’re very authentic, they’re real. You can count on them calling a spade a spade. If you take those characteristics that I spoke about with the dogs, how many of those are you living? How much joy do you live in? How sensitive are you? How compassionate that was one that I had not written down or not thought about, but compassion is something that they do.

When they come up and they lick you because you’re crying, they’re very compassionate and so incredibly loving. How compassionate are you? How aware do you stay? How are you living your life from the state of kindness? How authentic do you be in every moment of every day? All of these attributes that come from them for you to have a mirror of how you choose to be in your life. This is a critical piece for you to know why animals are so important. I can talk forever about them seemingly. Is there anything you want to have wind this piece up with, Rafael?

Two things, first, we had the idea from a client of ours named Dan. He was the one who suggested we do the show on dogs. If you have any questions or anything, in particular, you’d like to know, please send them to us and we would love to address them. This happens to be one of the most favorites of our subjects. We always talk about it. The second thing that I wanted to reiterate and the piece that I’ve gotten is that these dogs are showing us every mirroring piece that we need to know to live, be happy, live in joy and live unconditionally. They don’t ask for it, they just are. If we could all emulate being a dog and living the way they do, our lives would be so much happier.

Grow yourself into the person that you desire to be and express yourself the way that you would like to be. Click To Tweet

When you look at those precious little beans, you can allow yourself to put your focus on your heart, open your heart with them and also appreciate who it is that they are. Write them down on your gratitude list and then do the exact same thing for the people in your life. Remember that every bean is coming from the best place they know how in any given moment. It may not look like what we want. A dog that reaches out and tries to bite you, that’s because at that moment they are feeling fearful. They do not feel safe.

When a person yells or does something unkind or attack someone, it’s because they don’t feel safe either. They do not feel like they’re in an okay trustworthy position in their life at that moment. Understand that and utilize compassion. It doesn’t mean you should stand there and get beaten up, of course not. What I am saying is that if you soften your judgments and you start perceiving things from a different viewpoint, then you will find that your entire life will change. The relationships that you have, whether it be with a significant other, your child or yourself, it’s powerful. It’s incredibly important.

Here’s a great opportunity for you. First of all, if you don’t have a dog but you have another animal, you could go out and get one, but remember, there are a lot of responsibilities. It’s a very powerful growth experience. If you don’t have one, observe others and/or pick someone in your life and become the observer of them. Observe how you be with them. Observe how a child is. If you have little children, you have grandchildren or something like that, watch how little kids are because they’re very much the same way. It’s a very powerful learning. You observe them. At the end of your day, write down what you saw in them that you would like to develop more of in your own life.

What I would like to say are two things. What I would suggest is practicing being with everyone that you meet and see as if they are a brand new puppy, a brand new child, practice what I would call random acts of kindness and compassion. I know that when I do that when I can remember to do that everything changes for me. My life lights up. I would like to recommend that to everyone.

If you live with the innocence of a newborn or a youngster or a puppy, that you will have an amazing life.

We are at the part of the show that we do questions for Esateys. Jessica wrote, “I have this voice running in my head that I don’t deserve this great guy. I have to be exactly what I think he wants me to be. What should I do? I don’t know where this came from, what should I do and how can I do it so I won’t blow this relationship?”

RDD 14 | Unconditionality Of Dogs

Unconditionality Of Dogs: If we could all emulate being a dog and living the way they do, our lives would be so much happier.


Jessica, the first thing is that you’re coming from a place of fear right off the bat. The most important thing you can do always is be authentic, be real and be true to yourself. If you are trying to be what somebody else wants you to be or what you think they want you to be, your relationship is going to be doomed anyway because you can’t keep up a facade forever. It doesn’t work. One of the things that we have to trust in is that when we are real and we follow our heart that the universe will bring us the person that will be exactly the mirror, the self-development coach that you would love to have. Remember that being with somebody is a self-development opportunity and to also to have amazing sex, a lot of fun and a lot of play.

It’s also going to bring up those things in you that you aren’t necessarily also excited to take a look at. The reason that relationships fail is because people don’t see relationships for what they are. Therefore, they think the other person’s the problem when in fact it goes to us. I appreciate the fact that you don’t want to “blow it.” You are going to blow it if you aren’t real. One of the things that you can do is gently move back into a place of authenticity. When you do, this person is either going to like it or not. You cannot make them be what you would like them to be either. Allow yourself to see things from a different viewpoint and you will see the relationship from a different viewpoint. It will work out perfectly whichever way it goes.

I would like to bring out. You started off your question by the fact that you said you have a voice in the back of your head saying that you don’t deserve this great guy. That’s the first issue that I would recommend you look at. It is a total and complete lie. It’s the voice in our head. It’s the program that’s been running. That’s been pounded into us through our whole upbringing and all our parents, etc. Those programs are false. What I would recommend is that you have asked to be shown what a lie that is.

It’s also important that you recognize that this comes from self-worth or a lack of self-empowerment. We all have that, Jessica, in varying degrees. I would suggest that you get some support with increasing your self-empowerment and your self-love or your self-caring. You can call me. We have programs. I also do coaching. I have a whole process around self-empowerment, how to increase that within yourself and how to change your outer world based on changing your inner world.

Esateys, what is the question of the week?

“What would happen if I saw my life through the eyes and innocence of a puppy or a very young infant,” whatever you can relate to. The bottom line to this is what if you put on the glasses that truly did come from innocence, joy, playfulness and another whole way of existing. Some people may have an automatic response when they hear this, like, “Let’s not be silly. Don’t be childish.” That’s all the program. That’s telling you not to be the true joy that is screaming to emanate from within you. Play with it. See and watch what happens when you perceive experience and look at things from the eyes of innocence.

Change your outer world based on changing your inner world. Click To Tweet

That is going to make a very big difference in everything that you have going on and become the observer. You’ll probably hear me say this because it’s so important. For those of you that are reading this and you’re animal people, perhaps they don’t have a dog, an animal or they’re not animal people, it doesn’t matter. The principles are the same. Please share this with others and especially those that have animals that you know could be empowered by what it is that you’ve read here. We appreciate your questions. We appreciate your feedback. We appreciate you being with us.

We enjoy being with you. Our next show is on conscious relationships, the key to creating and maintaining long-lasting relationships.

Thanks. Feel a hug.

Important Links:


Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!
Join the Relationships Done Different Community today:

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This