Let’s face it, we all have fear and we have varying degrees of it. There isn’t a human on the planet that doesn’t have fears, whether you’re conscious of it or not. You need to realize that fear is a signal. It’s what tells you something’s not working. Fear is always about a thought or perception which is telling you that something’s not okay with your belief system. Many times, that fear is saying you’re jumping out of your box or you’re getting beyond your comfort zone, especially when you’re trying to move past the limitations that you’ve been living in. Be grateful for the gift of fear for letting you recognize where you’re holding back so you can move to the next level into living the life that you really want.
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Using The Gift Of Fear To Get What You Want
I’m excited about what I’m going to speak about and it is called how to use fear to get what you want. Let’s face it, we all have fear. As I speak about this, I’m going to help you see the gift in the fear and I’m also going to help you know what you can do to utilize that fear to be able to get what it is that you truly desire. I was having a coaching call with somebody and to use her words, she was paralyzed in fear. Something came up for her that it’s almost like a panic attack. Have you ever had that feeling? Have you ever had something just so abruptly hit you that you just didn’t know how to deal? One of the clues I’ll give you, and this was always the first thing, is go to the breath. Many of you heard me speak about the cycle of five. Breathe in slowly through your nose to the count of five, hold it up in your head to the count of five, and then exhale very slowly through your mouth to the count of five. When you repeat that cycle of five, five times, what occurs is the body’s adrenaline and the rest of the hormones that are created are going to quiet down and that’ll bring some blood flow back to your head so you can start thinking again because when we get to this place, everything shuts down and we can’t even think clearly.
The first thing we want to do is utilize the gift of the breath to get us to a place where we can calm down. I’m giving you solutions. I’m even telling you all this other stuff because that’s something that I recognize. I had somebody else that I was coaching ago and texted me and when he did that, he was not knowing what to do. The bottom line is when I told him about this, he texted me back after a little bit and he said “That was so helpful because I was out of my head in that moment and I wasn’t thinking clearly, but the breath brought me back to staying center,” so remember the breath. Since we know that we all have varying degrees of fear because there isn’t a human on the planet that doesn’t have that coming through, whether you’re conscious of it or not, because we know that our world is based on love or fear. If you’ve ever read A Course in Miracles, then you know how true that is. Based on that, what we realize is that fear is a signal. Fear is what is in you that says, “Something’s not working for me. I don’t like what it is that’s going on.” If you’re liking what you’re hearing so far and you think that other people could have value, then please share this. I’m in a lot of gratitude for all of you, quick share it and send those little hearts and things like that around there because they’re neat.
Here’s what’s important. When you know that you’ve got this fear coming up, what the gift is it’s a signal. It’s like a flashlight. It’s like a beam of light that’s coming to you and saying, “I need you to wake up and take a look here.” This wake up and take a look can mean, “There’s a bear coming at me and maybe I better move somewhere” or it might mean that you’re having a thought process and these thought processes are what create the fear. The truth is even if a bear was coming at you, it wouldn’t be the bear that would frighten you. It’s the thought that you have about the bear and what could possibly happen to you because you got this bear coming at you. It’s very important to recognize very clearly that fear is always about a thought. It’s about a perception. It is energy. It is a program that you have running up here and that perception is going to tell you that something’s not okay with your belief systems. It doesn’t mean it’s not okay with what’s happening in your life. What it means is that you’re bumping up against those parts of you that have a structured belief system, a box that you live in, that is not happy with you coming up against something that is threatening that.
It doesn’t mean it’s not a good thing. In fact, many times that fear is saying to you, “You’re jumping out of your box. You’re getting beyond the comfort zone here.” Many times when people are about to do something in their life, take a big step, move forward past the limitations that they’ve been living in, the fear comes up in a big way. The person that I was coaching was a person who was having that very thing. She’s made some decisions in her life that are expanding her. They’re going to make it possible for her to have the financial freedom that she wants to be able to move through those fears that she’s had about speaking to people and other things in her life, but the way she was perceiving it in that moment was, “Maybe I shouldn’t do this because this isn’t making me feel good.”
If you can identify with this, would you just comment about that? If you know what it is that I’m speaking about, give it on there and let’s recognize that so many of us have these things that go on. Instead of perceiving it as, “Something’s wrong here. I better not do it,” what if you said, “I’m so grateful. I see that that fear is bringing me the gift. It’s given me the gift of seeing where I hold back. It’s giving me the gift of recognizing that I have a line in the sand or a wall up about moving to the next level of what’s important to me.” Because that gatekeeper is there as a gift to you to show you where you’re at so you can reconsider. Be careful because that reconsideration is either going to come from your old programs that are also based on fear or they’re going to come from the place that says “I am going to get freedom at a level I’ve never had before. I have an opportunity to plow through these things that have held me back. How do I want to perceive what’s in front of me? What is my mindset telling me?” and observe it.
Always stay back and observe it. Don’t be lost in it. The minute you are lost in it, you’re in your ego, you’re in your personality, you’re in your fear. If you are like, “I just have this vision of like rising above it and seeing what’s going on, then I recognize that I can just see all the way it plays out and then I can make an intelligent decision. Is this what I want? Do I want to move through this or would I rather stay back here?” Don’t make yourself wrong for it. Sometimes the timing is not right, but most of the time it’s right or wouldn’t be up there for you. When you look at the fear, you ask yourself, what is this? Remember, it’s only energy. Energy is not going to kill you. What’s the worst can happen? When you think about what it is that’s frightening you, what’s the worst that can happen? I’ve had conversations with people many times when they’re afraid of fear, the fear is about money, for example. That happens a lot. I asked them, “What’s the worst that can happen?” “I might lose everything and be in my car.” “What could be worse than that?” “I wouldn’t even have a car. I’d be on the street.” “What do you think would happen then?” “I don’t know. I might starve to death or freeze to death.” I asked them to look at themselves in the eye and say, “Do you believe that? Come on.”
When we’re straight up with ourselves, we don’t believe that because you know you’ve always been taken care of. You know that you’re resourceful. You know that you have a capability to go out there and meet people. What I said to this person was if you lost everything in you’re on the street, then you know what will happen? You will be on the corner preaching to somebody about how to do whatever it is. You’d be telling them how to get their taxes done, you’d be telling them how to take care of themselves when they have their little children on the street. You would find a way to do something and you would, you, I’m speaking directly to you. You know you’re resourceful. You know that inside of you is a power, is energy, is a strength that is very capable and that’s the piece you want to rely on. You want to look inside and say, “What’s the truth about who I am? Who am I?” and when you get that, you will never feel fear. If you have that fear, it will shift that fast because you will know that inside of you is everything that you need and you will never ever be in a place where you will be in danger.
Would your body possibly get hurt? Maybe, but who you are is not alterable, cannot die, and can’t have anything to do, so why spend your energy and your time and your entire life worrying about things that 99.999% of the time never happens anyway. Fear is almost always about the what-ifs. Rarely is it about what is. Think about those things and remember that fear is absolutely a gift and you have the ability to perceive it any way you would like. One of the things that you can always say to yourself as “What’s great about this that I haven’t seen yet?” because there always is. When you be the observer and you watch what it is that’s going on, you can make decisions from that calm place because you are breathing and you will then be able to make decisions and movement and take action so you’re not caught up in that fear and letting it control you. Always ask yourself who’s in control here? Is my fear in control? Is the love and the peace and the knowingness of who I am in control here? It’s going to be one or the other. You get to decide where you’re going to put your focus, “Here or here? “ and that will determine your happy or sad, mad or glad, your terror or your joy.
You’re in control. You’re in way more control than you recognize, so I want to support you in remembering that the energy of what’s there for you can be your best gift and your best friend because it’s just a signal for you to make a decision to move past and grow, grow and grow and develop yourself into whom it is that you truly are. What I would like you to do is I want you to please comment and I would like you to please share. I would also like you to come to the retreat that I’m going to be doing. It’s going to be an amazing experience. Can you imagine all these Facebook Lives times a gazillion? Can you imagine what will be happening when you get in there and you find out what it’s like to know love of self and beyond? I can’t wait to meet you. I want you to come and be with me. You can private message me if you want to know more. Just come and be with me because we will have an awesome time and your wife absolutely will change.
I would also appreciate it if you would go to Wake Up with E, it’s a Facebook page, it’s a business page. I’m going to be putting more energy over there. If you’d go like that page, that would be awesome. We’re going to be connecting two of those pages together and you can be on both of them, so share everywhere you possibly can and share the whole Wake up with E thing as well so you can ask other people to like. That would be awesome.
Here’s your question, “What would it take for me to see the gift in my fear every moment that it arises?” Until next time, feel a hug and you go for it.
Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.