If we stop and think about it for a moment, we will realize how much of what’s going on around is in a relationship with us. Yet we fail to realize this everyday so we end up feeling disconnected. The root of all this is the failure to build a relationship with our own self. Mastering relationships is all about finding that awareness within ourselves and becoming more sensitive with the relationships that go on around us. Learn some exercises to cultivate a mindset that reflects on the belief systems that continue to keep us from fully experiencing life. At the end, we become masters to our relationships.
Listen to the podcast here:
I’m going to speak about something that’s a big subject. It won’t be the first time you heard me speak about relationships, but this kind of relationship that I’m going to speak about is a little bit of a broad spectrum. Relationships come everywhere and they are with everything. We talk about significant relationships. We speak about the relationship with the environment, with your body, with your children, with your boss, with your friends, even with the things in your household, with your plant. Everything is a relationship. I want you to stop what you’re doing and think about that for a moment. Just take on the profundity of what it is that I’m saying. There is nothing that you are not in a relationship with. If we’re going to master relationships, that pretty much means we’re going to change our lives. If we want to change our lives, then we’ve got to look at each and every relationship we have. We’ve got to have awareness about what those relationships are really like.
How would we like them to be and do we have any control over them? If we had control over them, what would it look like? How would it be that we would be in those relationships? It is a confluence of all of these different relationships that make up our lives. That means that we have seemingly a million, trillion things going on all the time and these things are all in a reacting and integrating into creating this big experience called the now, your storyline, your movie, your life, whatever you want to name it. What we’re going to do is we’re going to speak about all these different relationships a little bit. This means that we’re going to speak about how we can do some little things that are going to help us. First of all, if you’ve listened to me and you’ve been in my influence for a while, you know that I always speak about awareness.There is nothing that you are not in a relationship with. Everything is a relationship. Click To Tweet
Awareness is the key. It’s being present and being at this very moment. It’s being very conscious of what’s going on with you, what’s going on in your environment and what’s going on with everything. It means that you’ve got to get yourself bigger. Think about yourself like a puffer fish taking a deep breath and you get big. When you do that, your sensory awareness increases and you have awareness. Just sit where you are right now or stand wherever it is that you are right now and close your eyes. Let’s do this for fun. Just close your eyes and I want you to feel outside yourself a little bit. Be aware of any sounds. Be aware of the energy and the feeling nature that’s outside your arms and your legs.
Some sensitive people can even feel the energy being very intense close to their body, maybe out a foot, two feet or three feet. Other people can perceive things across the room. Some people can even perceive things across the field, across the street, across the planet. There is that degree of sensitivity for many people in the world. All of this is about a relationship that you have with yourself. The relationship with yourself allows you to drop the veils, to drop that sensation of protectiveness, the wall that we live in, in varying different degrees to help us feel safe. The personality or the human nature of life is about keeping ourselves feeling safe. That’s what the ego’s purpose is. It’s to try to keep you safe. That goes off on another whole tangent but the real core purpose of the ego is to keep you safe, which has value.
It’s important. We don’t want to kill off the ego because it keeps us from walking off the edge of a cliff or in front of a truck or those kinds of things. It does develop its own programs and beliefs that then start steering us into an interesting pathway, which is not what it is that I’m speaking about right this moment. I’m speaking about having a degree of sensitivity and a degree of awareness so that you recognize that you have a sensory perception that is bigger than whatever it is that you thought it was. The purpose of me doing this with you is to help you recognize that you have a relationship with your body, with your energy field, and with everything else that’s on the planet. When you start to expand that and become more sensitive to that, then you have the ability to perceive things in a way that is what I call a more macro view.
That sensitivity, that transparency, the veil of protectiveness is thinner than it would be for those that are closed up and shut down. When it is thinner and when it is more malleable and more transparent, you have the ability to be conscious of the relationships that you have with all of life. This might seem extreme to some of you but I can absolutely sense, feel and speak to plants, animals and to virtually everything in life because I have a very thin and transparent veil. I have the ability and capability to be able to just drop my own wall, my own veil and sense what’s going on around me. I can sense this in other people. I can look at people and I can know the kinds of things that they’re feeling and their thinking and they’re sensing. I can feel their fears and I can know what it is that’s going on with them.
I’ve once been called medical intuitive because I can go up to people and their liver would just jump out at me and like, “Tell this guy to stop drinking. It’s killing me.” Seriously, I would have these kinds of information be given to me, some of which I shared and some of which I didn’t. The bottom line is we have the ability to be connected to everything and everyone. These relationships allow us to be more connected to life. The more connected we are to life, the more we can experience our lives differently. This gets very tricky in our society today. For full disclosure, I have watched how I get a little bit left-brained, and when I’m in a little bit left-brained, my walls get bigger. I don’t feel as much and I’m not as tuned in. I have to literally consciously stay aware and drop that veil and settle into myself to get that same sensitivity that I by nature have.
This means that I can’t live in my left brain. I cannot stay in a state of logic. I can’t fit into the box and still fit into the world in a way that I choose to fit into the world. Does that mean I don’t use my left brain? Not at all. I think pretty clearly. I know how to do things in a systematic way. I can count from one to ten and I can do my ABCs. I can add numbers and I can do all kinds of things that are necessary to do. I can live life from that place. I know I’m well educated. Many of you know that I’ve gone to UCSD, UCLA. I’m a nationally certified nurse practitioner. I’ve been a life coach, I’ve written a book, and I’ve done radio shows. I’ve done a lot of things, many of which in particular the schooling, I had to use my left brain.
The reason that I’m emphasizing this is that I don’t want you to think here that I’m saying that you need to move over to the right side where you go into La La Land and you’re not able to function. I’ve been there and done that too. I spent about a year where I was having a difficult time being very grounded because I was in a state where I wasn’t using my left brain much. I was constantly in a state of connecting to situations and energy that was beyond what you and I would be speaking about. The point of all of this is that we as human beings have the ability to go in either direction to whatever degree that we desire to. It all has to do with mastering yourself, your focus, and your capability to be centered and to allow your wall to come down or your wall to come up. You have the ability to determine that.Relationships come everywhere and they are everything. Click To Tweet
It’s fascinating to see when you can do that. It’s like biofeedback. Biofeedback is a science that is very well-known and very well accepted. In spite of any big secret thing, it’s just what it is that we have going on. They can measure how much sweat you have to the most micro level by putting these little things on your fingertips and putting little things in your head in different places. In doing so, you can think about certain things, do certain things. You can lower your heart rate, you can lower your blood pressure and you can decrease your stress. It’s one of the great tools for stress relief, is to use biofeedback. It’s also used for pain management and things of that nature. The point of this is you have the ability to alter certain things in your life. You master the relationship that you have with your body.
If you would like to do that, you can experiment sometime. Sit down and breathe deeply. Breathe in through your nose very slowly to the count of five. Hold it for the count of five and exhale through your mouth to the count of five. You follow this cycle at least five times in slowly to the count of five. Hold for the count of five. Exhale through your mouth to the count of five, and let your body become loose and limp. When you allow yourself to sink into a quiet state, what you’ll notice is there’s a whole another world that opens up. It’s pretty amazing. If you focus on relaxing your shoulders and your jaw and you let all of the mind chatter in your head to be there without needing to do anything about it and you don’t resist it, you just notice it. Move on to something else, focus on the breath and the body starts to relax and you start to feel different inside. You start to have an acute awareness, a sensitivity level that comes forward.
You’ll hear or feel your heartbeat. You’ll notice whether you’re breathing rapidly, shallow, deep, what’s going on with your body. What’s interesting is you can do your own biofeedback session with yourself. The way you do that is to keep your body relaxed and let your heart beat slower. Breathe in and out even more slowly. If you take your pulse before you start this and then you do this exercise and while you’re still very calm and not moving a lot, take your pulse again. I promise you, you can lower your pulse and your respirations by choice. You are your own virtual biofeedback machine. If you can do this, you can master that relationship with yourself, why not master all the relationships with yourself? Why not allow yourself to then notice what’s going on in other areas of your life and choose how you choose to perceive them?
How do you want to frame what’s going? The framing of what it is that you’ve got going on is going to be in direct relationship to how you feel about what’s going on. That means if you master your mindset, if you master what it is that you are choosing to think about what it is that’s going on, you are going to find that your pulse will go up, your pulse will go down. You’ll feel happy, sad, mad or glad. It’s all completely dependent upon your relationship with your belief systems about what just occurred. Now we’re talking about relationships with your belief systems. Where did your belief systems come from? They come from our childhood and the things that our parents told us, the things that we were told by our siblings and the radio and the internet, and these days from our phone and the computers and all of the things the social media says.
There are so much that occurs that we are constantly receiving data and input about. They all are making an impression on us, especially when you’re young. We don’t have anything to compare to. We think what we hear is true and real. Out of that, we make a determination about how we should be in life based on, “Somebody who was murdered in the park, so now I’m going to always be afraid when I go to a park.” They failed to mention that that’s the first time that has ever happened in 137 years or something, but that doesn’t matter because we just hear something and then we create a belief around that. We attached an emotion to what it is that we just thought and all of a sudden we’ve got something that stays with it. Right in the backpack it goes and here we go right through life.
I’ve got all this stuff and it keeps gathering and gathering and pretty soon, I’m loaded with all these belief systems, all these programs, all these ideas and all these concepts. 99.9% of them are not real. The truth is none of it is real, but that’s another whole story. For now, let’s look at your relationship with your belief systems. When you see where they came from, can you recognize how it would be quite appropriate to question them all? I speak to so many people through my coaching, through my retreats, through my seminars, and through the public speaking that I do and what these people will tell me is, “I don’t have any control over that. That just happened to me.” That’s not true. You do.
You have complete control over how you frame something. That’s your choice. Do you choose to feel happy, sad, mad or glad? Do you choose to master what it is that’s going on in your mind? Everything that came to you came from somewhere. Just like that came from somewhere, you can have something else come from somewhere. They’re very powerful. That’s one of the few freewill things we have been going on for ourselves, is how do we choose to perceive what’s going on. That relationship is key. The relationship with your programs or beliefs, your concepts, your mindset, the relationship you have with your partners, all are going to be relative to your relationship with your mindset, your beliefs, your concepts and everything else.
I’ll give you a personal story. When I was growing up, I think I was in the sixth grade. I’m not sure I was that old or not, but I was young. I remember hearing my parents fight and I came down the steps and I sat on the steps and I heard them screaming back and forth at each other. It was a nightmare for me. I sat there, and I cried silently. It was very deep inside of me that I acquired the belief that you could not trust men. My father was being very verbally abusive to my mother. He had been cheating. She was a complete wreck and yelling back at him. All of these made a deep impression on me, and I turned around and I went back to bed. From that day forward, I made a decision that because men were not trustworthy, that I would not feel safe with them. It’s taken me many years to get to the place where even though I’ve done repeated work over and over again to where I can trust a man to not cheat or to not lie or to not be something that they say they are, I will tell you that it is a focus.
It’s a mindset. It’s a belief system and some of them become so deeply ingrained in us. If you look back up, you can find one or two or three or ten or twenty or 200 inside of you. These are what it is that is dominating your life and they’re not only dominating your life, they’re dominating your relationships. I’m very fortunate that I have created a man that has helped instill a greater sense of trust than I’ve ever had before and all of the things that I used to be in fear with. Even when I first came with him, I told him my truth about that because I’m all about putting everything out on the table. I asked for his help and support with that. Sometimes it was a little touch and go. Other times it was a lot easier and it has gotten a lot easier. As I trust more, he’s less reactive and on and on it goes. What’s important here is that you take a look inside of you and see what results you’ve got in your relationships in regard to being happy, sad, mad or glad.
Are you mastering them? Are you victims of them? What are you going to do about it? You have the awareness, now you get to choose how it is that you would like to experience them. I use these a lot because they’re so powerful. These are powerful questions, and there are two different ways that you can do questions. One is you can use what-if questions. You can say, “What if what I believe was a complete lie?” It starts to break down the solidity of a belief system that we have. You could also say, “What if this was the most awesome experience of my life so far? What if I saw everyone through the eyes of love?” You can also shift these around to be asking things like, “What would it take for me to see this through the eyes of love? What would it take for me to see this differently? What’s a different perspective that would elevate me and show me how safe I am?”
If you start using questions to interrupt those beliefs, patterns and concepts, you will find that it’s very powerful. The other thing that’s extremely powerful is to work with your genius team. I speak about the genius team and a program called the Wealth Grid. In the Wealth Grid, we have some processes that we do about genius team and there are extremely powerful energies that are within you that can support you in breaking old programs and beliefs. If that is something that you are committed to, if you’re committed to mastering your relationships, if you’re committed to becoming aware of everything that’s going on around you and you would like more sensitivity, not victimization but rather mastery, then the things that I’m speaking about here are things that you can do.You have complete control over how you frame something. That’s your choice. Click To Tweet
I’ve given you a lot and I encourage you to go back to this again. When you start to implement what it is that I’m saying, when you start to understand you and you start to get an understanding of what you can do about it, then you’re going to find that you are already the master. Now you just implement it. You’re powerful. You’re amazing. You have life the way you want it. If you are willing to understand, experience and perceive life the way it truly is, rather than the way your many times skewed versions of life are or the skewed visions that you have, we all grow up with misconceptions.
Your assignment should you choose to accept it, is to look through the veil and see what’s real and find out if it’s true. Find out what you can do and how you can frame what it is in life that will allow you to see, feel, and experience it as the master of every relationship that you ever could have seen, experienced, or imagined. If you’d like more information on this and other similar subjects and programs that we do, then go to my blog, UltimateRelationshipAcademy.com/blog. Until next time. Feel a hug.
- Relationships Done Different Facebook
- Relationships Done Different Twitter
- Relationships Done Different YouTube
Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.