Do you do what other people tell you to do instead of what you want to do? What usually happens is we end up doing so because we don’t want to create an upset in the relationship. There are two ways of handling this type of situation. One is to shift your mindset so you can be okay with what you’re doing or get real and be authentic and actually say no. When you continue to say yes when you really mean no, your body starts to release anger hormones which starts to create a situation in our mind that says, “I feel like a victim. I don’t want to do this. This is difficult for me. I’m angry that I have to do it.” All these things start going on and we literally end up with a headache or a stomach ache. Get some insights on how you can get into a position reframe your mindset or decide for yourself to say no once and for all so that you can feel better in that decision making process.
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You Do What Other People Tell You To Do
Do you do what other people want you to do instead of what you want to do? When I was younger and I was in a situation where my business wasn’t really my business but the person I was married to at the time really demanded that we go to cocktail parties and do all of these things that in my heart of hearts, I didn’t want to do. Especially as frequently as we had to do them. What would happen is I ended up going because that was the right thing to do and I didn’t want to create upset in the relationship or seemed like I was bringing the business down. I would go but I wasn’t able to shift my mindset in such a way that I enjoyed myself, at least most of the time.
What I would do is I’d end up feeling agitated. I’d be a little bit pissy. I wouldn’t feel I was in a very good humor. I wasn’t enjoying myself. There are two ways of handling this. One is shift your mindset so you can be okay with what you’re doing or get real. Be authentic. How many times have you said yes when you wanted to say no? When you continue to say yes when you really mean no, what happens is that our body start to really release hormones that are anger, adrenaline. We start to create a situation in our mind that says, “I feel like a victim. I don’t want to do this. This is difficult for me. I’m angry that I have to do it.” All these things start going on and we literally end up with a headache or a stomach ache. I used to do that all the time.When you know yourself well enough to know when you're being authentic or not, that's going to make a difference in how you feel internally. Click To Tweet
Do you remember when you were a child or maybe you have a child that will say, “Mom, I don’t want to go to school because I’ve got a stomach ache. I think my head hurts too,” and they give you this whole song and dance. After doing a little detective work, you find out that they want to say no to school and don’t want to say yes because there’s something there. There’s a test and they’re not ready for it. Maybe somebody has been picking on them. If you want to say “No,” but you say, “Yes,” is it because it doesn’t resonate for you?
Is there something there you’re going to have to face that you don’t necessarily want to? It’s a good investigative thing to look at for yourself, because when you know yourself well enough to know when you’re being authentic and when you’re not, that’s going to make a significant difference in how you feel internally. When you are doing things you don’t want to do, that stuff starts building up and over time, it will create resentment, anger and frustration with the people that you think are making you do it, and at yourself for not being impeccable to how it is that you truly feel.
You can get into a position where you reframe it or you decide for yourself that, “No, I’m just saying no,” and in that decision-making process, you will feel much better internally. I invite you to notice how many times you’re saying yes because it’s a true yes or you’re saying yes because it isn’t, and then are you willing to flip it around? I want to thank all of you that are sharing these and then sending me a private message that you did share. It really delights me for all the feedback you are all giving me. Thank you so much for that. Here’s your question, “What would it take for me to be truly authentic to what I absolutely desire?” Until next time, feel a hug.
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Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.