Giving yourself away means that you let other people’s thoughts, ideas, programs and beliefs affect you so much that you lose your confidence and self-empowerment. While this is something that everyone has experienced in varying degrees, the good news is that, there are things that you can do to get your confidence back. If you have ever felt like you are less like yourself, then you should start asking the question, “What would it take for me to feel empowered in everything that I do, think or say?” This can be in your relationships, in your business, your work, your children, your health, or any other area where you feel like you’re not enough. Here, you will discover how staying aware of how you feel, taking charge of your body language and being with empowering people can get you started towards the right track.
Listen to the podcast here:
How Much Of Yourself Are You Giving Away?
This podcast is all about how much of yourself are you giving away. I’ve been coaching for a very long time and I also have a tremendous amount of experience with this particular subject. I wanted to speak about it because everyone I know in one degree or another is giving themselves away. We let other people’s thoughts, ideas, programs and beliefs affect us. What we do with it so much of the time is we use it to diminish ourselves. In other words, we don’t feel as good about ourselves because we start comparing or they are speaking to you in a denigrating tone or they’re challenging everything that you say. Ultimately after a period of time, especially in relationship, what happens is the person who’s receiving this becomes pretty deflated. They become demoralized. They don’t feel like they really have an opportunity to be themselves. They don’t feel safe anymore.
Stay Aware of How You Feel
After this goes on for a long time, having coached all of these different couples over the years as well, and individuals that are in relationship and in business relationships, what I found is that somebody ends up being up here and somebody ends up being down here. It’s not an equal kind of program that’s running in the relationships. What does that mean? It means that it’s important for you to stay very aware of how you feel when you’re interacting with people. When somebody raises their voice or they say something that isn’t very kind, you shrink down, you feel badly, you judge yourself, you want to shut your mouth and you do not want to really interact much at all. You don’t want a challenge, you don’t speak up and you speak in a softer tone of voice. You do things that really are indicating that you feel less. That’s giving yourself away. It also means that you feel disempowered in other areas of your life as well. Once you don’t feel good in one area, that drizzles down into other areas of your life.
We lose our confidence. We lose our self-empowerment. We lose our capability to know who we really are and what we’re really capable of doing. You might be asking yourself, “Yeah, I do that. I don’t know how not to do that because when somebody yells at me, I just go. I can understand because I grew up being very terrified of rage, confrontation.” Things that were seemingly abusive energetically, verbally, or for sure on a physical level. What is important here is that when you ask yourself, “Why is that?” You can look at your upbringing and what is your own level of self-esteem. Where’s your sense of empowerment on a continuous basis? How strong do you feel? How engaged you feel with yourself, your life, and what it is that you do? Do you feel really good about what you do and who you are and where you’re going? Are you in doubt, and are you already feeling a little bit less? Usually we will experience those things much more dramatically if we are not feeling as confident and as strong as we might ideally do. Why we do it isn’t nearly as important as recognizing that it’s happening. In that very moment, what’s important is that you do some things that are going to shift the way you’re being.
It means that you take a breath, in through your nose, and out through your mouth, then you get yourself really quiet. You get yourself in a place where you are feeling centered. In that centeredness you are able to really let your shoulders drop and let yourself just get here. Instead of being reactive, you really pull yourself down and be really grounded in what it is that you’re experiencing. What you do is, you reach internally and you realize that your body language is probably saying, “I’ve been attacked, I don’t feel good.” What do you do? Put your chin up, shoulders back, take a deep breath and really feel the power and the energy coming up through you in a way that allows you to feel much bigger. Have you ever seen any of those pufferfish or mini birds when they are doing what it is that they do, when they’re mating? They puff up like this and they get all around and they start to really put themselves in a position where they look bigger than they are. You’ll see this even in dog fights and other places, where animals instinctively, will puff themselves up and get empowered.
The dog’s hair comes up on the back of their neck and the pufferfish go really big and all these birds will fluff up their feathers because they feel like they want to show off. They want to be confident. They want to really put out an impression. In some ways, I’m really speaking about that. In those moments you’ve got to really take charge of your posture, of your body language, of the way that you’re speaking. Watch that voice, because the voice will probably get little. You may find yourself hesitant to speak up or speak out about what it is that is important to you, because you’re afraid that you’re going to be rejected or shut down, so you just don’t bother. That’s something you do once, maybe not such a big deal, but I promise you that pattern, it’s building. You keep doing it over and over again until pretty soon you feel pretty insignificant in your life or in some areas of your life, and what happens?
Be Empowered By Empowered People
Your overall feeling about yourself and about life becomes diminished. In other words, you lower your energy level or your vibration. When that occurs, we don’t have the vibrancy for life. We don’t have a sense of empowerment that wants to go out there and help and be a real-world changer. We don’t. In fact, we’re not even happy in our own world, in our own life. It’s important to be in touch with this because this is something that’s making a difference for others. You notice how more empowered people feel when they’re around empowered people? Somebody was saying that they wanted to go to a Tony Robbins thing because they felt like if they got in that room, they would just jump out of their skin. It’s like being on amphetamines or something because his energy is very high and very alive. People that are with that kind of person are going to feel one way. People that are with people that are speaking like, “All right ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to tell you about something that’s really on my mind. It’s something that I think is going to really build you up and you are going to really feel good about it.” Which one of those kinds of energies is going to make you feel alive and empowered in life? It’s not either of those extremes.
I’m not saying you have to be off the wall or completely Dudley the doodle or whatever they say. At any rate, find the place that works for you, but most importantly, speak your truth. Keep yourself in touch with that. If you are feeling like you are not as empowered as you would like to be, and you’d like to make a shift in that, then let me know because that’s something that I work with. I help people that feel disempowered and I would love to be with you. It can be anywhere in your life. It can be about your business, your work, your children, your partner, your health. Anything where you feel like a victim, where you feel like you’re not enough. That’s the part that I’m speaking about. You have a wonderful adventure in front of yourself as you explore this and really do some introspection about it. When you do, you’re going to find that you are able to make a difference in your life and you’re also going to make a difference in other people’s lives.
You can contact me by going to www.Esateys.com. You can hit that contact button and send me a message and I’ll be happy to set up a call to speak with you. If you would like to really take this another step for yourself, ask yourself this question every day, “What if I spent time everyday checking in to see how empowered I was feeling?” When you realize that you’ve got a little bit of work to do, then allow yourself to get the answer to that question. Come to vicariously, you don’t have to figure it out. Just ask the question, “What would it take for me to feel more empowered in everything that I do think, feel, and say?” From there, you will find that your entire life changes. Stay out of your head. Stay focused on just allowing it to come to you, whatever that looks like. If you want more support, then let me know. Until next time, take care and feel a hug.
Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.