Hi everyone, this is Esateys and today I’m going to speak about, how much of yourself are you giving away?  So, I’ve been coaching for a very long time, and I also have a tremendous amount of experience with this particular subject.  So, I wanted to speak about it because pretty much everyone I know, in one degree or another is giving themselves away.  What do I mean by that?  What I mean is, that we let other people’s thoughts, ideas, programs, and beliefs affect us.  And what we do with it so much of the time is, we use it to diminish ourselves.  In other words, we don’t feel as good about ourselves because we start comparing, or they are speaking to you in a denigrating tone.  Or, they’re challenging everything that you say.  And ultimately, after a period of time, especially in a relationship, the person who’s receiving this becomes pretty deflated, they become demoralized, they don’t feel like they really have an opportunity to be themselves.

They don’t feel safe anymore.  And after this goes on for a long time, having coached all of these different couples over the years as well, and individuals that are in relationships, and in business relationships, what I’ve found is, that somebody ends up being up here.  And somebody ends up being down here.  And it’s not equal kind of program that’s running in the relationships.  So, what does that mean?  It means that it’s important for you to stay aware.  Very, very aware of how you feel when you’re interacting with people.  And when somebody raises their voice, or they say something that isn’t very kind, you go ehh.  You shrink down.  And you feel badly, and you judge yourself, and you want to shut your mouth.  And you not want to really interact much at all.  You don’t want a challenge, you don’t speak up, you speak in softer tone of voice, you do things that really are indicating that you feel like less.  That’s giving yourself away.  Also, it means that you feel dis-empowered in other areas of your life as well.  Because once you don’t feel good in one area, that kind of drizzles down into other areas of our life.  So, we lose our confidence, we lose our self-empowerment.

We lose our capability to know who we really are and what we’re really capable of doing.  And so, you might be asking yourself, ya I do that.  And I don’t know how not to do that because when somebody yells at me I just go ehh.  And I can understand because I grew up being very terrified of rage and confrontation, and things that were seemingly abusive energetically, verbally, or for sure on a physical level.  And so, what is important here is that when you ask yourself, why is that?  You can look at what was your upbringing?  And what is your own level of self-esteem?  Where is your sense of empowerment on a continuous basis?  How strong do you feel?  How engaged do you feel with yourself, with your life, and what it is that you do?  Do you feel really good about what you do, and who you are and where you’re going?  Or are you in doubt?  And are you already feeling a little bit less, because usually we will experience those things much more dramatically if we are not feeling as confident and as strong as we might ideally do.  So, why we do it isn’t nearly as important as recognizing that it’s happening.  And, in that very moment what’s important is that you do some things that are going to shift the way you’re being.  Now, what does that mean?  It means that you take a breath, in through your nose, and out through your mouth.  And you get yourself really quiet.  You get yourself in a place where you are feeling centered.  And in that centeredness, you are able to really let your shoulders drop.  And let yourself just kinda ya know, get here.  And instead of being reactive, you really pull yourself down and be really grounded in what it is that you’re experiencing.  And then what you do is you reach internally, and you realize that your body language is probably saying I’ve been attacked, I don’t feel good.  And what do you do?

Put your chin up, your shoulders back, and you take a deep breath and you really feel the power and the energy coming up through you in a way that allows you to feel much bigger.  Have you ever seen any of those puffer fish, or many birds when they are doing what it is that they do, like when they’re mating?  They puff up like this, and they get all round and they start to really put themselves in a position where they look bigger than they are.  And you’ll see this even in dog fights and other places where animals instinctively will puff themselves up and get empowered.  The dog’s hair comes up on the back of their neck, and the puffer fish get really big, and all these birds will fluff up their feathers because they feel like they want to show off.  They want to be confident, they want to really put out an impression. Well in some ways I’m really speaking about that, because in those moments, you’ve got to really take charge of your posture.  Of your body language, of the way that you’re speaking.  Watch that voice cuz the voice will probably get little and you may find yourself to speak up or speak out about what it is that is important to you.  But you’re afraid that you’re going to be rejected or shut down and, so you just don’t bother.  Well that’s something you do once, and maybe not such a big deal.  But I promise you that pattern, do, do, do, do, do, do, it’s building.  And you keep doing it over and over again until pretty soon, you feel pretty insignificant in your life, or in some areas of your life.  And what happens?

Your overall feeling about yourself and about life becomes diminished.  In other words, you lower your energy level or your vibration.  And when that occurs, we don’t have the vibrancy for life.  We don’t have a sense of empowerment that wants to go out there and help and be a real world changer.  Hmm, hmm, we don’t.  In fact, we’re not even happy in our own world and in our own life.  So, it’s important to be in touch with this, because this is something that’s making a difference for others.  Do you notice how more empowered people feel when they’re around empowered people?  I mean, today somebody was saying that they wanted to go to Tony Robbin’s things because they felt like if they got in that room, BING, they would just like jump out of their skin.  Because, it’s like being on amphetamines or something because his energy is very, very high and very, very alive.  Well, people that are with that kind of person are gonna feel one way, and people that are with people that are speaking like, “alright ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to tell you about something that’s really on my mind today, it’s something that I think is going to really build you up and you’re going to feel really good about it.”  Now, which one of those kinds of energies is going to make you feel alive and empowered in life?  And, maybe it’s not either of those extremes, I’m not saying you have to be off the wall, or completely Dudley the doodle or whatever they say.  At any rate, find the place that works for you, but most importantly speak your truth.  Keep yourself in touch with that.  And if you are feeling like you are not as empowered as you would like to be, and you’d like to make a shift in that, then let me know.  Because that’s something that I work with, I help people that feel dis-empowered and I would love to be with you.  And it can be anywhere in your life.  In can be about your business, your work, your children, your partner, your health, anything where you feel like a victim.  Where you feel like you’re not enough.

That’s the part that I’m speaking about.  So, you have a wonderful adventure in front of yourself as you explore this and really do some introspection about it.  And when you do, you’re going to find that you are able to make a difference in your life, and you’re also going to make a difference in other people’s lives.  So, you contact me by going to www.esateys.com, e-s-a-t-e-y-s.com and you can hit that contact button and send me a message.  And I’ll be happy to set up a call to speak with you.  And, if you would like to really take this another step for yourself, ask yourself this question every day:  what if I spent time every day checking in to see how empowered I was feeling?  And when you realize that you’ve got a little bit of work to do, then allow yourself to get the answer to that question come to you vicariously, you don’t have to figure it out.

Just ask the question:  what would it take for me to feel more empowered in everything that I do, think, feel and say?  And from there you will find that your entire life changes.  Stay out of your head, stay focused on just allowing it to come to you, whatever that looks like.  And if you want more support, then let me know.  Until next time, take care and feel the hug.

Author: Esateys Stuchiner

Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.

Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.

Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.

For more information, go to esateys.com.