Has your heart ever hurt? If you’re human, you most probably have. It might be about a relationship falling apart, about finding that your child is doing something that you are not happy about, about someone lying to you and betraying your trust, or about losing someone dear to you. Sometimes, it may also be that you do not have all of these things occurring but you just feel pain – that deep, heavy, empty feeling. The truth is that, in our human experience, the heart will really have a place where it will hurt. Esateys shares how she dealt with grief in the past and how you too, can deal with yours.
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Has Your Heart Ever Hurt?
The podcast topic is about the question, has your heart ever hurt? It’s a silly question because if you’re on a human body and you have any kind of feelings, you’re pretty much going to say yes to that. When I was about sixteen, I was really best friends with my oldest sister’s husband. He would confide in me and the two of them were having difficulties. I was Ann Landers, for those of you know who know who that is, way back then. That’s a role that I have played throughout my entire life, which is why I finally made it into a business because I do coaching and I can listen to people and I can help them be clear. I was doing that back then and we were very close and as it happened he called me one day and he had been really depressed and very sad, and he sounded really up. It sounded like things were going to be okay. I said, “What’s going on?” He said, “I’m going to go meet with Billy,” that was my sister’s name, “tonight, and I feel good.”
At the time I didn’t really know what a critical sign that was. What happened is, he went to her work when she came out on her break. This is a little graphic for you, so just take a breath. He shot himself in front of her and that was a really difficult thing. Of course, very traumatic for her, but it was also very traumatic for me, and my heart was like the part that got the shotgun because I just felt blown into a million pieces. I felt guilty. How come I didn’t do anything? I felt empty, I felt sad. What have I done that I could not have made this be different and why didn’t I get that that’s one of the signs of people that are suicidal? Then about three months later my best friend was still sixteen, and we were going to her sixteenth birthday party. That day of her party, which was all planned, she was in a car accident and she died. I went through some very difficult times at that particular point in my life and I really experienced a lot of grief, a lot of sadness. That part where your heart is just aching, it feels that empty feeling.
You know what it is I’m speaking about? It doesn’t have to be the kinds of things that I’m sharing with you, but it might be about you having a relationship fall apart, or you find out that your child is doing something that you really are not happy about, or you find out that somebody has lied to you or betrayed you or you do lose someone. Whatever it is, the heart really has a place where it hurts. The truth is that in our human experience, we’re going to have those things. What’s also true is sometimes you may not have these things occurring but you just feel that pain, that real deep, heavy, empty core feeling. I’ve spoken to several people that are speaking about this. It’s called existential suffering. It’s that same aching, heavy feeling in our heart. It’s because we have the illusion that we’re separate from who we really are. In our world, it demonstrates itself out and becomes exacerbated by the certain things that occur in our lives. What I want to suggest for you, is to be in touch with that feeling. When it’s there, because it usually will, realize that many times come up as grief and grief works in a pattern.
Understand that grief has a pattern.
In that pattern, what you just do is you just stay with it, it will come and it will go and then it comes and it goes. There are waves that come with that. I want to invite you to just stay with it, allow it to be whatever it is, allow yourself to just feel it and stay out of your head. Just allow the energy to move through you because when you do, you’ll find that you’ll move through it so much faster. Many of you know that I’m licensed in medicine. I do alternative medicine and all these things, but if any of you are going through any of this grief feeling, there is a homeopathic remedy called Ignatia, that you can buy in most any health food store, which can help a lot with grief. It’s just something to think about. I also want to invite you to be aware that you can learn from this grief. You can also be in a place where you shut yourself down or you can stay open. That’s the key. Many people, when they go through it, they become walled up. Don’t do that. Keep yourself wide open and let your heart know that it’s okay. It’s just a feeling. It’s an energy and it will pass. It definitely will pass no matter what it is that you’re going through right now. Feel it all the way through.
I want to thank you all that are sharing this and commenting. Your comments are really important, and your sharing is even more awesome. Thanks for doing that because I’ll bet if you think about it right now, you would know somebody who is currently having an aching heart. That feeling of grief, that feeling of whatever it may be and because of that, they could possibly be really shifted from this. It’s about feeling it all the way through and shifting that process in your head because it’s how you’re framing it. It’s going to make a difference in whether you’re going to be happy, sad, mad or glad. Whatever it is that’s going on, allow yourself to stay present and don’t go into the deep end where you get completely lost in the emotion to the point where you cannot function anymore.
I invite you to go to Esateys.com. I want to also invite you to be sharing this and then letting me know that you’re doing that because we’re going to draw names again. I’m going to be giving you a free program called create or reignite your perfect relationship. I am excited to share that because last time we had an incredible person win. Here’s your question for this episode, what would it take for me to feel my feelings and just allow myself to be with what is? What would it take for me to just feel my feelings and feel it all the way through? Remember that I do podcasts, longer versions of these, which you can find on my website as well. Until next time.
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Author: Esateys Stuchiner
Esateys (pronounced Ee sáh teez) is an International Life Transformational Speaker, Author, Master Facilitator, Life Coach and Expert in the Human condition. She is a Nationally and Board Certified Nurse Practitioner. For over 30 years, she has practiced, taught and lectured extensively in the allopathic and alternative medicine field.
Esateys is known for her groundbreaking work in the areas of personal empowerment and health restoration using mindset and inner connection as the catalyst for all change.
Esateys describes herself as the ‘Architect of the New You’ and has dedicated her life and professional career to helping her clients create “New Beginnings” by facilitating self empowerment, economic freedom and restored health.
For more information, go to esateys.com.