RDD 37 | Listening To Your Body


Being emphatic and helping and saving other people becomes second nature to you when you constantly pursue to be loved and be lovable. In your heart of hearts, is this really the way to live your life? When your body speaks to you, it is in your best interest to listen to it. In this episode, Esateys opens your mind to a new perspective about being a “Mr. Fix It” and listening to your body. She reveals what it is inside you that craves to jump in, take control, and decide how things need to be, and the power it takes to let go, to have total awareness, and to allow life to unfold.

Episode Takeaways:

  • Your body is a consciousness that is here to assist you and help you expand your consciousness.
  • When your body speaks to you, it is is in your best efforts to listen to it.

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Your Body Is Speaking. Are You Listening?

We are doing something a little different. We’ve been getting a lot of questions from people about the body. The body seems to be upright and we tell you often that when we speak of Relationships Done Different, we’re not talking about romantic relationships. We’re talking about the myriad of relationships, which we have with many things and one of the most important is the relationship with your body. Esateys, take it away.

There’s going to be a series of shows on the body. We’re not sure how many exactly, but I wanted to speak about something that I have this thought that goes through my mind a lot, which is your body is speaking, are you listening? I have a personal history of not necessarily being a good listener when it comes to what it is that my body is saying. Therefore, I thought, “What a great time to speak about this.” The question I have for you all is do you even know what it means to listen to your body? Did you realize that your body has a consciousness? It has awareness. It has a whole system inside of itself, which allows it to take things on. It has the ability to give you information that doesn’t come from your brain but literally comes from the brain of the body, the consciousness of the body.

Did you know that the body is an amazing sensory device that allows you to know things before they even happen? It’s like a little intuitive ticker tape that goes on that the body will give you an awareness if something is forthcoming before it even occurs. When we start to recognize the magnificence of the body, the complexity of the body, it’s pretty amazing. It’s beyond any computer program that has ever been created. I feel that, first of all, people don’t even think that. Secondly, if they do, they can’t possibly understand or figure out what’s going on. We know that medicine has created a tremendous amount of research, a tremendous amount of study and we have learned a lot about the body. We’ve learned about how the body works in ways that are very different than the things that we used to know. We have become more curious and we have become more interested in recognizing how the body works and the things that you can do to support it and being less traumatized regardless of what it is that’s happening.

As long as we’re at this juncture, why don’t you tell everyone about your background so they can understand where you’re coming from in this conversation?

I grew up in a quasi-medical family. My father was a doctor. My mother worked with him. I became interested in it so I studied Allopathic Medicine. It started out as I was a registered nurse. UCSD-UCLA came up with a program for nurse practitioners. I practice allopathic medicine as a nurse practitioner for many years and I was in practice with my father. I started questioning the way traditional medicine or allopathic medicine worked. I started delving into some call it complementary medicine, other people call it alternative medicine. The bottom line is that I ended up being most interested in that because I realized that so much of traditional medicine is counterintuitive to what it is that the body wants.

Therefore, we end up many times doing more damage than we ended up doing good. I want to put up a red flag and a big warning because I’m not saying anything that is “negative” about allopathic medicine. I’m still licensed in medicine. I still have a DEA license and I have chosen to sway over to the other side and practice or be with alternative medicine so I have the history on both sides of the street. I’m very grateful that if somebody falls down, breaks their leg or has something where they need the diagnosis or surgery that we have the expertise that they have available. On the other hand, I know that there are many things that can be handled without “the knife” or without so many harsh prescription drugs. I found that being aware and being competent on both sides of the street has helped me understand even more about the body which brings us to this day, which is about the consciousness of the body. It means that it has a mind, a brain and awareness of things that most people have no clue that it has the ability to know.

You’ve often talked about the mind-body connection and how important that is when you are treating or coaching people.

The mind-body connection means that what you think about, the body receives as information. We’re saying your body is talking, are you listening? Is this simultaneous? Your mind is talking and your body is a receiver of what it is that goes through your mind. That means that if you are having a bad day and you are mad at someone and your attitude isn’t so great. Let’s say you had a fight with somebody and you start yelling or whatever, that activates a whole array of things in the body. There are many hormones that are released and most of them will bring your vibration down. They will also activate things that are buried inside the cellular memory. Every cell has a memory. Every cell has an emotional component to it. Therefore, the body, especially after a while is going to tell you that it is feeling overwhelmed, overloaded and it’s going to react to the kinds of things that you’ve been feeding into it through your mind. The body’s listening and it starts talking. The body reaches a place where it starts talking and this is what we’re discussing is, are you listening? There are clues that are trying to give you, but many people do not see or hear or even feel the clues.

We’re talking about two sets of listening here from what I’m gathering. The first being that the body is listening to your thoughts, to what you say, to how you act, how you treat it and it is responding accordingly. From what I know, the immune system of the body can be compromised sometimes significantly by that continued negative vibration as you are calling it.

In fact, absolutely proven a million times over that stress increases a lower immune system. Stress creates all kinds of body responses, ulcers, headaches and digestive issues. It has to do with aches and pains. It has to do with a poor attitude and then it becomes a catch-22. You feel bad so your vibration goes down. Your vibration is down so you think more negatively and around and around you go. The body is sitting here going, “What’s happening? I’m taking it all in.” It doesn’t know what to do with all of this. It tries to stuff it or it tries to speak to you to tell you, “You need to do something different.”

[bctt tweet=”Help all you want, but you don’t get to decide when and how will people feel better.” username=””]

To finish this point is that it seems to me that we have got to, and I know we’ve talked about this on prior episodes, we have to be aware of what we’re feeding it.

Awareness is key to everything. It’s critical. If you do not have awareness of what’s going on, how you’re feeling, what you’re saying, how you’re reacting or you’re responding on and on, you are not going to end up living a happy life. You will end up feeling victimized in your world. If you can think about this yourself, is there any area of your life that you feel victimized in? I’m pretty sure that if you were dead straight honest, everyone would say yes. That’s perhaps because there was not an awareness of things that were going on inside of you that was causing you to feel victimized. If somebody says something to you, if you’re particularly sensitive about it, if you have a core issue around that, it’s going to come up and speak to you. If you don’t keep your awareness high at that point, what occurs is it seems like somebody else is doing something to you and that is not the case. It’s the body trying to show you that there’s stuff stored that needs to be handled. In other words, it brings it up for awareness and release.

The body starts talking, are you listening? Give us an example or expand on that so we can get an idea of what things the body might be doing with us.

I’ll go back to when I was practicing at the clinic in Escondido, California. I would have people, different patients come in. One, in particular, I remember his name was John and he was a young adult. He wasn’t like some little kid or anything. He would come in with a sore throat. I tested him and he had strep and treated him accordingly. That was all fine and good. About a month, it probably was his average, he would come back. It has a sore throat all over again. I would go through the next protocol that we followed. He would be treated. He’d be sent on his merry way. Somewhere between three and six weeks, he’d be back again. About the third time, I said, “John, what’s going on with you? What’s happening in your relationship?”

He said, “My relationship is fine.” I said, “That’s cool. How’s your relationship at work and with your boss?” He said, “That could use some help. I’m not happy where I am. I feel like I’m being manipulated and taken for granted there. I don’t have any way to deal with that. I don’t know what to do.” I said, “In other words, you’re not speaking up. You’re not telling the truth. You are not dealing with the real issue that’s going on inside of you. This sore throat is not coming from somewhere or nowhere. It’s coming because there’s a part of you that needs to speak.” The body was trying to tell him that there was something going on in his throat area, which had to do with speaking, stepping up and doing whatever it took for him to change the circumstances that were continuous. If we don’t have an awareness and we don’t know what we don’t know, we keep thinking our body is messed up or we’re exposed to the kids’ flu or whatever it is that we make up instead of taking care of what it is the body is trying to tell us.

We could say that the body was stressed because of not being able to express at work in your example. It lowered its immune system and it was showing this breakdown in a physical way by having a sore throat, strep or bacteria. What we’re saying is that the body will tell you through what you’re experiencing, what might be happening with you that you might be totally unaware of.

That’s accurate. I want to send up another red flag to say that ultimately everything that we experience is coming from something that is usually beyond words and that our mind knows to mean a lack of awareness. I also want you to know that the body in its innate awareness level, in its sensitivity and its ability to take on and perceive different kinds of emotions and all different kinds of energies throughout the planet. It’s not just you. In other words, what I’m saying is, in our world, we have a collective consciousness. The collective consciousness is usually pretty scared and sometimes it’s moving this way or that way. Let’s say you’re at a football game and your team is winning and everybody there and that particular team’s regard is screaming and yelling and happy. The whole consciousness of that area is high and feeling good.

The body feels that it’s hard to stay depressed and down because it’s feeling it. The other side of the stadium on the other hand where they’re losing, that side is feeling pretty down and out. Those people will collectively most always walk around with their heads and their shoes because they are not collectively feeling good. When you take that on a day-to-day basis and you take it out to an even more macro view, what you see is that when the world is frightened, when the world is upset because of the politics, the government, the weather or whatever it may be, that creates a very big energy and your body, even if you’re not directly involved is going to feel that. Some people will be so sensitive that they will be aware of that and others not so much. I want to give an example of that.

I have a sensitive body and way back in 1980 when Mount St. Helens has erupted, I was living in California. I was at a Padre game and the feeling that went through my body was one of tremendous terror. Out of nowhere, seemingly my body was so uncomfortable and I felt like things were moving. I had no clue what that was about or anything, but I felt something explosive. I was bewildered. The very next day, I found out that Mount St. Helens had erupted. That is what I was feeling at that time. Some of you may be going, “That’s like way too weird,” but let me tell you, I’ve had that happen many times since then. I have become very astute in regard to what my body is saying and I can give you many more examples about that on a personal level and a global level. I can speak with great confidence about the sensitivity, the awareness and the communication capability of the body. It’s quite profound.

Hence, the title of our episode is Your Body is Talking, Are You Listening? The question is the body feels it, the body has a superior or incredibly complex receiving system. The real question is, are we understanding communication? Are we being aware enough to understand what is in front of us? Esateys, if the body is so astute, how do we become aware of it? What do we do? What do we listen for?

RDD 37 | Listening To Your Body

Listening To Your Body: Don’t be pushy. People will come forward and open up when they’re ready.


The word listen is not the best word to use here because it’s more like with some people’s bodies will talk to them like with words, but I don’t want people to misinterpret this because it’s not very common. What it does do is show you through feelings. Let’s say you’re going to take a test. You usually are going to feel like your stomach is tight or you got butterflies. You might feel nauseated. You get a headache. Those are communications. The sensations in your body are ways that the body is speaking to tell you that it’s upset or something is off-center or something is going on. It’s also can be something that you’re happy about. You’re anticipating somebody coming home. You’re going to go get a new puppy or you’re going to do whatever. You’ll get a lot of feelings as well because it will show your excitement.

Hold The Pain And The Space

What’s important is to be in the moment all the time and be so grounded in your body that you can tell where your body is alive or whether it’s in neutral. If there’s something that is irritating you, if you check into your body, you’re going to notice that you probably have some tightness in your throat or in your chest or in your stomach. You may find that you’ve got some habits of twitching or whatever the case may be. You’ll find as you become an observer that your body is making all kinds of gyrations that are going on that are trying to tell you that it’s not in the flow of life right now.

The body is telling us that. I know at the extreme the body will break down. It will get the infection. The immune system will ultimately break down. What do we do with the awareness like the example with that person who had this sore throat, what is he to do and how can he help heal himself?

In the case of John, what I suggested to him was that he come to terms internally, that his body was telling him he couldn’t continue to do this over and over again because other things were starting to also become ill or breakdown. His immune system was lower. He was stressing. The last time he came on that particular visit he also had a headache. His body was starting to give him bigger signals. His attitude was going down the tubes. What happens is that when you see these things happening, you must stop and take a moment, close your eyes and go into the breath into your body. Sit there and literally become aware of what’s going on in your body. You now become aware of it and you can ask the question, “What are you trying to tell me? What am I missing here? What’s happening that I need to do differently or what do I need to address that I haven’t addressed so far?”

Passive Versus Power

If that doesn’t come to you fairly readily because maybe you’ve never done this before. It seems way too weird, find someone like myself or someone like me that can help you see what you can’t see and you’ll learn how to open your own doors more readily before your body starts to break down in a way that gets you in deeper and deeper problems. A lot of relationships go through this. They don’t communicate with each other primarily because they don’t even know what’s going on because it’s so passive-aggressive. When somebody feels unloved in a relationship, there’s a lot of options that show up. One of them becomes very ill because if you become ill, somebody has to take care of you and if you haven’t felt taken care of, then that will occur.

I do want to put in the caveat here that not everybody needs to go feel guilty about being ill because there are many reasons that people become ill. It’s not what I’m saying, but if you are having something that’s repetitively coming up, use that as a tool for awakening. Use it as a tool for becoming more aware. Use it as a tool to be more kind to your body. Use it as a tool to know what it is that your body needs. Many times, for me, when I am going, my body gets tired and it wants to sit down and do nothing. This day is pretty much one of those days.

She said, “I’m going to take the day off and relax as soon as we finished the show.”

What is important is that I know that my body needed to rest. When Rafael, who had more rest than me, he said, “What are you going to do?” I said, “What you’re going to do? I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to watch football, watch television and be quiet inside.” I meditated for an hour. I want to kick back because I virtually never do that. I’m learning that if I don’t do that, I’m dragging my booty all week long so I have to listen to my body.

The real takeaway from this episode is that anytime the body is stressed at ill, at ease, when it talks to us, it’s imperative that we ask it. We figure out what it’s trying to tell us so we can be more aware of. That to me is the biggest thing. We have to be aware of that could you tell everybody because I love this story. When you tell someone, “First you get the tap and you get the knock.”

When you’re going through life and there’s a message for you, you will find and we’ll use the body as an example. The first thing that may come along is you get a little bit of nausea and maybe your gut gets a little tight and you go, “It was nothing. It was probably something I ate.” A day or two later, suddenly you’ve got some pretty big cramps in your gut and your heart’s beating pretty fast and you’re going, “It’s just some little piece of the flu. I’m sure it’ll go away.” A few days later you find that you’re also not able to keep food down, you’re vomiting and then comes the headache. In other words, we get the little tap and we get the hammer. We get the sledgehammer and we get the club.

[bctt tweet=”Most people have no clue how they feel.” username=””]

After that comes the bulldozer and pretty soon you’re in the hospital room because you didn’t get it. What we’re speaking about is to recognize you have an amazing communication device that you happened to live in. Your body is amazing. Your body is intelligent beyond anything that you could even wildly determine. The communication is going to be effective depending upon how well you listen and how aware you are willing to be. A lot of people are going to go, “poo-poo that,” and that’s great. They can do whatever they want to do. When they’re in the ambulance with their heart attack or they’re at the doctor with their blood pressure being so high that they can’t function or they end up with some of the other things that frequently happen from long-term stress, what’s going to occur is they may get it then and they might not.

It’s interesting. Some people, it’s not their life to do that, but if you’re reading this, my bet is that this is something that’s important to you on a level that’s beyond what it is that you knew. Based on that, listen up, take time, slow down, step into your body and see how it feels. Every morning and every night, if you took 30 seconds and you scanned your body and saw, is there any pain? Is there any tension? Is there anything that’s going on? Observe that and through the open-hearted compassion in your heart, ask your body what do you need so that you can function more easily, more effectively and more lovingly? If you do that, what you’re doing is you’re giving your body an awareness that you are listening, you are interested, you want to do things that will help support the body and its immune system so your life overall will be enhanced in a beautiful way.

I wanted to say one other thing, I was watching a documentary about DNA, about how the body’s building blocks and the intricacies of the things that they’re learning go deeper and deeper. If there’s any question about the incredible magnificence of the body in terms of the things it does, how it evolves the way it does, how we develop organs and all of those things. The body is an incredible mechanism. This communication thing that we’re discussing is in a lot of ways, a rudimentary way of communicating with us. That’s why it’s very important to get that.

You can bypass so many difficulties, so much pain, so much illness, so much of the body stress that builds up at a cellular level that it’s amazing. I didn’t know all of this stuff as I was growing up. Some people come in with a stronger constitution than others. There are people that smoke, drink and do all these things and they live to be 96. They’re running a marathon when they drop over. Other people on the other hand, not so much. You need to also be aware of that. Be conscious of who you are and the way your body’s mechanism is and you give it everything you possibly can to support it. It will be the best that it can be based on its genetics and based on what it has gone through in childhood because our childhood has a big impact on the way the consciousness of the body perceives life. The consciousness of the body is very profound.

Perhaps at another time, we’ll talk about the brains of the body. There are literally three main brains and there’s a brain in every cell. We could go very deep and very intricate into this. Let’s start with being aware, stay awake, check-in, ask your body and talk to your body. Connect with your body and please give it what it needs so it doesn’t need to break down to get you to slow down. I know a lot of people, myself included, in the past that never listened until they were taken out and they had to slow down. They had to stop. Getting a day off at work because you’re ill is not the best way to get a day off.

I was thinking maybe we should change the name of this show to Awareness Done Different.

That’s an interesting thought. We could use your feedback about that, people.

Our show is obviously about relationships done different, but relationships are encompassing and every aspect of a relationship is always determined by our level of awareness.

It’s critical, it’s profound and it is number one. You can’t get aware usually until you’re in so much pain that there’s nothing left to do but listen.

I want to tell you what is going to happen in the new series that we’re doing on our relationship with our body. We’re going to be doing episodes on our relationship with food, our relationship with illness and our relationship with pain. We’re going to do an episode on your body is listening, are you being kind to it? How are you treating your body even though you expect it to be taking care of you or in addition to? We have a lot of different stuff that we will be covering because we think this is such an important aspect of our well-being and everyone’s well-being that we want to explore it a little deeper.

RDD 37 | Listening To Your Body

Listening To Your Body: Emphatic people find it difficult to accept that it is not their job to save other people.


I want to invite you to please let other people know about this because we’re coming into the winter months where the body frequently gets into all of these things that we make up as a collective like flu season and all this stuff, which is all a manmade program. You don’t need to fall into that if you choose not to. Allow your kindness to overflow to the people that you care about and invite them to read this series because if they do their relationship with their body is going to be very different. For those of you that read regularly, we thank you and you’ll notice we’re not having a question from the audience and we’re not doing a what-if question although you could make your own up.

We should do a what-if question, but what I’d like to say is give us your questions about the body. Give us your questions about anything that you’ve read here. We want to know them and we know it could be a little out there, but on the other hand, as Esateys always says, “Just have an open mind.”

I don’t even think it’s out there anymore. It’s incredibly critical that people open up and get out of the box of the way that they’ve thought. Our world needs an expansive and a macro view to move past the things that are occurring on the planet and in each and every one of us.

Consider this part of the general and more comprehensive macro awakening that we’re all experiencing.

Here’s a question for you, what if I was totally and completely tuned in to my body and I responded with kindness? It’s very kind when you listen to what it is that your body is trying to tell you. It is your best friend. No one and nothing will be with you from the moment you take your first breath of air until the moment that you breathe your last breath of air. Your experience here on this planet is through the physical body. Make friends with it and know that it is truly your ally if you become connected to it.

I absolutely love what you said.

Know that you are loved, appreciated and make this the most amazing time of body consciousness that you have ever had so far. I can’t wait to know how it goes for you.

Take care and we’ll see you next time.


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