RDD 38 | Relationship With Food


Is it necessary to know your body better and understand what it wants and needs? Are you having a hard time figuring out what is right or wrong for you? In this episode, Esateys and Rafael Stuchiner talk about their relationship with food from a perspective of recognizing that it is actually energy and consciousness. They dive deeper into what can food means to different people of different shapes and sizes. Don’t miss this show to learn about the domino effects of eating and feeling right.

Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here:

[smart_track_player url=”https://www.podetize.com/statsapi/www.podetize.com/wp-content/uploads/fileuploads/11-5b145ef137b51b3d1af0633e9305c43d/10/2019/f16824cffd5d651ed1de10f30eeb67dc.mp3″ title=”Your Relationship With Food” image=”https://selfhealinginstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RDD_CA2.jpg” ]

Your Relationship With Food

We started a series of shows on the body. The one we did was, Your Body is Speaking, Are You Listening? This episode is going to be about your relationship with food. First, Esateys, what’s going on with you?

I was just thinking about something that happened, which is in the year-long program that we’re doing. I have people do a lot of different things. One of the assignments was to read a specific book called 2150 A.D. and we were discussing that. In doing so, what came up very frequently with the feedback was that it’s very powerful when you spend your time reading, investigating and speaking about things that are powerful, uplifting and introspective. What I’m saying is that maybe everybody could take a look at their lives and see how much of your time are you spending in a true self-development state. If you’re reading this, then you’re doing an awesome job because this is huge.

The other thing is in between this show or coaching that you may be doing with me or someone else, what is it that you do in your “spare time” and listening or reading books that will take you deeper and open up your mind. It’s just a very powerful way to experience and elevate your frequency, your good attitude and your mood, I might add. Because when you maintain your frequency at a higher level, you start attracting things that come from a higher level to you and then your life starts being a lot more fun than it currently probably is. In addition to that, when you start putting your focus on living presently in the moment, then you start to awaken more. All different kinds of magical things occur when that happens.

That conversation we had about 2150 A.D., people got so much out of it, so much deeper than what was there on the printed page and what was in the storyline. It was very awesome.

It was a great experience. We’re still working on that because the frequency is so profound and the people went to such a deep place.

Who wrote this great book is called 2150 A.D.?

It’s Thea alexander. It’s out of print. You can find it. The copies are very scarce and very expensive because it was written in 1971 or ‘76.

I was totally taken back by that book. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since we read it.

I read it back in the ‘70s and it’s been the most powerful book I’ve ever read, especially for me at that time. It’s still very impactful.

Your relationship with food.

RDD 38 | Relationship With Food

Relationship With Food: Focusing on living presently allows you to awaken more and make magical things happen.


Take a look inside yourself right now and ask yourself the question, “What is my relationship with food?” Most people don’t think about food. Other people only think about food. When I’m talking about the relationship with food, what I’m speaking about is not that I need it, I want it and I can’t live without it. Literally, you can’t or that all I do is think about food because you have an addiction to it. It’s not about that stuff, but rather what is your relationship with food from a perspective of recognizing that it is an energy, it is consciousness and it is entering your body to support you at the level that its consciousness is and how you are viewing it. Needless to say, we’re going a little deeper into what food means than perhaps some people. I’m going to be a little more practical as well, but I just wanted to start with that.

When you said it, were you referring to your relationship with food or the actual energy of the food?

I’m talking about both. First off there is the consciousness of food. The consciousness of food is that it has varying different degrees of vibration and that depends on a lot. It depends on the individual food, but it also depends on what happens to the food. When you eat food that is raw, it is literally alive with enzymes and frequencies that help elevate your body. If you are eating food that has been very heavily cooked or things of that nature, then some of that aliveness is gone from the standpoint that a lot of times the enzymes are killed. It doesn’t mean cooked food is not a good thing. It does not mean that at all. Many people will advocate mostly raw diet and if you have the kind of body type that can handle that, I am all for that. I personally do not have that kind of body type. My body wants food that is steamed or cooked or in some way warm and nurturing because I have a body that is lightweight and it is supported by things that are a little bit what I’ll call heavier foods that help ground this body.

You have to know what your body is. Here’s the difference. When you’re thinking about food from that perspective, then you’re thinking about food as not only nourishment, but it’s like taking an upper or like taking an amphetamine versus a Quaalude, a downer, a sleeping pill. Because some food is very hard to digest and foods that have zero support for you, like candies or cakes. Those kinds of things don’t have any nutritional value. They frequently will have psychological relief. The relief is that it takes you away from feeling things that you otherwise might feel. In other words, they numb you. They will literally depress the body’s ability to perceive and experience life in a way that it is capable of doing. I’m going to keep on putting these red flags up. I’m not saying that you should never have any of those things. What I’m saying is that when you become very tuned in to your body, what happens is you have a better sense of what is working for your body, what’s nutritious for your body, what your body wants and needs to be strong, powerful and clear.

When you are overloading your body, and it doesn’t matter even what kind of food. You can be eating a lot of good food, but if you’re eating “a lot” of the food more than your body needs, then your body is going to slow down. It’s going to be duller. Your thought processes won’t be as clear. You will obviously gain weight and then when your body is carrying too much weight, what occurs is the body’s in a constant state of fighting to try to get anything to work in order and the body works much harder. You have more free radicals and all kinds of things happen, none of which are in your best interest. That’s just one of the “logical” reasons you do not want to overeat.

The first takeaway that I got is that it’s important to ask your body what type of foods does it want. What type of food is most nurturing for it? What’s most supportive? When you do that consciously, you’ll get a much better indication of where you should be eating your calories.

That’s true. When you ask the body, depending upon your personality and your programming that you have running, you might not hear answers that are honest. It’s not truthful and not on purpose. It’s just that the program kicks in. When you say, “What do you want?” It’s going to say, “I’d like a hot fudge sundae,” or “I’d like to have twelve more scones,” or “I would like to have a couple of drinks.” You may hear this kind of stuff and you’ll go to yourself, “Okay, then. I can do that for you.” That’s not a truthful experience from the body. That is a response from the programming of addiction or of the part of the mind that wants to go away and be in denial. The people don’t usually think about foods being in a way that they can depress you and slow you down like drugs. It is the same thing.

It’s very important to know what it is that your body wants and needs by recognizing and becoming in touch with how your body is feeling. Eat something and notice if you feel energized or if you feel sleepy. Notice if you feel like you’re thinking more clearly or you feel lethargic. Your body will tell you according to what it is that you are eating as to how it’s feeling. Many times when we eat something that’s sugary or a lot of chocolate, there’s caffeine and the sugar as well can create a mini high. You think, “I ate that six ounces of chocolate and I feel fine,” but in actuality, what’s happening is that your body is on a high and then the drop comes hard.

I’m not against chocolate because I think chocolate is awesome. Here’s one takeaway that I would give to everybody. If you don’t hear anything else, it’s about moderation. It’s about recognizing how much you’re eating and how you feel when you eat what it is that you eat mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s also about noticing what your body’s real needs are. You can be honest with yourself by looking in the mirror and looking at your body. Answer the question because it’s between you and you. Do you way more than you wish you did? Do you weigh more than you feel like is healthy for your body?

Some people have gotten perfectly fine with weighing many pounds, sometimes hundreds of pounds more than their body would like and they have “made peace with it.” Usually what they’ve done becomes in a state of surrender to it because they don’t feel that there’s anything they can do about it. This show is not about weight loss. It’s about connecting to loving your body at a higher level than you ever had before. When you have excess weight and you have things that are going into the body that are not supportive of its energy field, to its vibration, then you’re making your body work way harder. Your body is not going to feel nearly as good as it will when it’s at a level of equanimity where it’s even out.

[bctt tweet=”When you have excess weight and elements not supportive to your body’s energy field and vibration, then you’re making your body work harder.” username=””]

Those food choices are affecting your goodwill and your good nature and you’re feeling good. When you’re doing things that are not so supportive, it’s going to make you feel crappy.

Usually the crappy is you feel guilty. You feel low and boggy. You’re tired a lot. You just don’t feel alive. There are other reasons that can occur, but this is one of the things that occur frequently with that whole food thing the way it is. There’s something that I wanted to add because when we talk about eating good food and all of that stuff, what we’re saying is that when you have a habit of eating unconsciously, that’s the only way I know how to say it. Meaning that you’re not aware of the nutrition that you’re eating. You’re not present with your food when you do eat it. Most of the time you don’t even taste the food when you eat it and then you want some more of it. What happened is when you start to interrupt the pattern and you start eating things differently, all of the addictive parts and the familiar parts come up with a scream louder than anything you’ve probably ever heard before. It’s like, “What are you doing? Don’t you know that we’re supposed to be having an extra?” whatever that is. That is where the real challenge comes in.

One of the reasons that people don’t change their weight or shift the way they eat is because they will not discipline themselves to feel what they don’t want to feel. Let’s say you wake up in the morning and you’re hungry. You usually rush out to the kitchen and you get something, whatever it is that you characteristically do. That then starts the whole day running where you’re hungry and unconscious and the pattern that you have. Instead of doing that, what if you just stayed in that moment and you allowed yourself to be hungry? What if it was okay to feel your stomach growling? What if it was okay for you to be with the discomfort or the perceived discomfort that’s there for you at that moment?

The biggest reason people don’t make changes because don’t want to feel, especially anything that will cause them a perception of discomfort. Therefore, they go unconscious to avoid the feelings and they keep on doing what they were doing until they either become very ill or whatever kind of thing happens. One of the things to take a look at is how good are you with being able to not have instant gratification. It’s a big thing especially the US people and people in general. They want instant gratification. We have shown that in every single level of life that you look around and see. We used to not have phones and we had mail that showed up a month later or more because there was no fast way to get that. We then got telephones that made it a little bit better. Although way back when, when there were party lines, you may pick up the phone and have to wait another 30 or 60 minutes to get your turn because you had to share the line with others.

I look at this as awesome. I look back and I go, “Many amazing things I have experienced and how many amazing things I have watched evolve into other places.” I also see the gift of what it was like then versus what it’s like now. Because there were some things that we might call archaic and difficult, but you know what? We had time to be at a much higher level. We were not so overloaded and so inundated that we didn’t have time to just sit and contemplate the flowers or be in the world at a level that we are not now. We evolved from the phones to one line. Now, we have FaceTime and things like that where you see somebody when you’re speaking to them. We have computers and email. We have texts. Texts are about the fastest way you can connect with someone instantly at that moment. Why do you think all these things came about? Because we as a collective art are very impatient and we want everything right now.

When we translate this into food and feelings, we realized that we don’t want to feel anything that doesn’t feel good for more than one tiny tenth of one nanosecond. It doesn’t feel good, I’m getting away from it. It’s not fast enough, I’m going for what makes me fast. I want instant gratification. If you have difficulty with eating too much, too frequently, too unhealthy, just look at your overall life and look at how you are with instant gratification. How you feel like you must get something in your stomach because you’re not okay with feeling the desire for something and not getting it met in 22 seconds.

More importantly, you’re not comfortable with feeling any underlying pain that’s there.

It’s always a coverup. Every addiction or any overuse of anything, even if it’s not an addiction level, is a complete denial of the moment of what is and what is, is that you might not be feeling as great as you would like to feel. I’m not going to say you as a real core being, but your programs are going to run and find anything you can to divert you away from being present with whatever that discomfort is. Physical, mental or emotionally, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to find a way out for you as fast as it can and when you stop and you go, “Wait.” You just sink into your body and you allow your body to feel what it feels.

You go in and you notice that there’s some gurgling in your stomach and there’s some anxiousness or tenseness in your chest or whatever it may be. When you become very clear and present to those sensations and you are committed to allow them to have their life, their moment and you do not react to them, you will find a mastery that is far beyond anything you’ve ever imagined. That takes a certain level of awareness and it takes a willingness to observe rather than react. When you do that, every area of your life will change. It’s not so much about counting calories. It’s about being present to what your body’s trying to tell you.

The thing that I was thinking about is that when we have a feeling that we have to eat something, we have to have ice cream. For me, it’s always I want to go have a scone. To me, what I’m getting is that I need to have that is just a flag. That is going to be for me a red flag of any time I have a yearning for a particular kind of food, that’s where it’s coming from. It’s not coming from a physical need. It’s coming from covering up some emotional things and making us happy.

RDD 38 | Relationship With Food

Relationship With Food: It’s very important to know what it is that your body wants and needs by recognizing and becoming in touch with how you are feeling.


When that occurs, there is a need that the body is trying to tell you about and the default place depends on the person. In your case, it would be, “I need a scone. I need something to mask what’s there. My level of self-judgment, my level of discomfort.” It might even be a physical pain that you want to cover up with more food so you don’t have to feel the physical pain. It can be whatever it is for every person, but that is huge what it is you said because it’s not about the food, it’s about the recognition that there is something else that is needed. One of the things that you could say to your body at that time is, “What is it that you’re trying to convey to me? What is it that’s going on that I haven’t seen yet right here?” Instead of running off to the store or wherever it is that you might want to go or the pantry, then what would be very powerful is to sit with that. Even more profoundly, if you happened to have some things emerge, you can speak it into your phone if you happen to be not in a place where you can write it down. Your body is giving you messages. Are you listening?

It’s like the body is saying, “Listen up here. This yearning for this particular food, this calling, it’s a big mask.” The way that we can overcome that is by asking the simple question is, “What are you trying to tell me you need?” Which is what do you need right now? What would you like different so that you can get to that place? In one of our last retreats, we’ve covered a little piece of this. The piece that resonated for me is when you feel that taking a few deep calming breaths and we have this little mantra we do. Deep breath in, “I am,” and on the exhale, “Presence” Do that two or three times and we’ll forget why we’re hungry.

It will definitely change everything because when you’re very sensitive in your body, you’ll notice that when you start having that yearning or that craving, there are all kinds of activity going on inside of your body. That means that there are hormones happening and adrenaline is running because you’re in a place of it. If you’re very sensitive, you will notice that most of the time, that craving is covering up a scent of terror or a sense of fear. The adrenaline starts running to go get the need met so you don’t have to face what’s underneath that.

Facing that can be very scary.

It can be and that’s why I always encourage people when you’ve got something like this going on, find a coach. Find me or somebody that can see at this level of depth and support you and knowing what is the terror that’s going on so you do not have to do things to the physical body that are not necessary.

Don’t beat yourself up if you feel, after reading these, you say, “I got a problem about a certain thing.” This is something that we grow up with. We use food to celebrate. We use food to make us feel better. This is a long-time program. The easiest way to say, it’s not your fault. It’s part of the environment that we live in.

If you have any doubts about this, just hang out with some mothers and watch what they do when their kids won’t stop crying. They hand them a sucker; they hand them a sippy. They give them a candy bar, they give them their iPad. Now, it’s running a little bit more in the technology department, but usually, it’s some kind of oral satisfaction that then becomes habituated. When I don’t feel good, in other words, as a child would be crying, I learned that the way to handle that is to have something put in my mouth like food. We started gravitating to doing that habitually and it then literally a program that is cellular. It’s very deep.

My experience with that is when I was a young kid, my grandmother lived with us. She would take care of us when my parents would go out at night. I remember one night really clear. I was upset about being left home. She gave me a piece of apple pie. She says, “You shouldn’t be unhappy. This will make you feel better.” It’s exactly what she said. To this day, apple pie is my favorite and that is burned into my psyche, apple pie makes you feel good. The point is we have to be gentle with ourselves and allow it to be okay but make a change if you feel so called to. Being aware of it is obviously the first thing.

I promise you it is changeable and it will take a commitment and a level of awareness and a frequency that allows you to see things from a bigger viewpoint, a macro view. Because when you can see this, then most of the time you are able to make changes a little bit more readily but it’s in there. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay there forever. Eventually when your frequency gets very high, then it’s not a fight anymore. It’s just whatever it is at that moment. You make choices that are different because you’re not covering up pain, suffering, habituation, addiction and all that. Because those all have a certain frequency and you have now risen above that frequency to where you’re not living there. There’s one other thing that I wanted to speak about. You can do some of your own homework on this if you would like and that is intermittent fasting.

Lots of studies have shown that intermittent fasting is something that’s very powerful for the body. What that means is that you make an agreement with yourself to stop eating at whatever time you do. Ideally no later than 7:00. In the most awesome place, it would be like 6:00 in the evening, but that’s not realistic for some people who don’t even get home from work until 6:00, but no later than 7:00. When you go from 7:00 until noon the next day, if you can give your body a sixteen-hour rest in between eating food, you will find that your body will feel a lot better because it’s able to use those hours to rejuvenate and to rebuild. To do things that it frequently can’t do because when we’re putting something in our mouth pretty much all day and up into the night. For some people, in the middle of the night and your body never gets to rest.

[bctt tweet=”See and feel food into your body and watch it explode light to your system.” username=””]

That’s just something you can look up and see if that’s something you think will work for you. It’s very powerful. I have done that intuitively pretty much all my life. I never even heard of intermittent fasting. I just knew that when I would eat dinner, my body likes to eat its last meal at 4:00. I don’t do that anymore because I’m still working. It is in the ideal world that I don’t eat after 4:00. I never have been a person who ate breakfast. I know some of you are going, “You’re always supposed to eat breakfast.” Some people, yes. Other people, not so much. I do not feel good when I eat breakfast. In fact, it makes me hungry all day. I rarely will eat before 12:00 or 1:00.

There’s a short period of time that I eat six or eight hours that I eat in that frame. At most, it’s usually six or less. My body has what it needs and then it has a whole bunch of time to rest and digest. One last thing is that there are also many studies that have shown that people feel better and live so much longer when they are lighter versus heavier. It means that if you look at these cultures or tribes that are in these other countries, the majority of them eat very little. They’re very light eaters and their bodies are lighter than they are heavier because they’re in nature and they intuitively know what their body’s trying to tell them. Your body doesn’t have to work so hard when it is thinner.

Is that a guarantee you’re going to live to 120? No, because we also have a lot of other factors that are involved with that. I’m very thin, relatively speaking and I’ve been thin all of my life. Does it mean that I haven’t had issues with my knee? Yes, I have. I’ve been a runner and the cartilage went away and all these other kinds of things. The bottom line is it does change the way you experience life when you are aware, you’re connected, you’re conscious and you listen to your body and you connect with the consciousness of the food.

One last question on intermittent fasting. You talked about the physiological aspects and being able for the body to rejuvenate and repair itself. Are there any emotional benefits to doing this intermittent fasting?

Clarity is one of them. I can tell you to do that. If you’re the kind of person who has to have something in their mouth before they go to bed and as soon as they get up, the emotional thing will be difficult probably at first. This is where it takes discipline. It takes commitment. It takes you pulling forth who you are to take charge of what it is that you’re committed to because your habit or your program’s going to come up and go, “This is a bunch of crap.” Anytime you have the willingness to stop yourself from any kind of behavior, you’re going to feel empowered. Every time you feel empowered, you’re going to feel more confident. Every time you feel more confident, you’re going to raise your vibration. Every time you raise your vibration, you are in a greater sense of connection within yourself. Eventually what happens is you realize that the ego is not ruling and running your life anymore. Instead, you’re running from a natural essence of is-ness or being-ness. At that moment where you are totally connected, you touch something that is not able to be put into words. Every time you touch that piece of yourself, you’ll find that your life emerges more profoundly than ever before.

We’re talking physical, we’re talking emotional, we’re talking mental and most of all we’re raising our vibration. Next time we’re going to talk about how relationships with food interact or fit in with our overall concept of Relationships Done Different. Because this is an aspect, when it’s tied together, you will see how important relationships are as a self-development tool, which is what Esateys says all the time. We will tie in why relationships and why our relationship with food is an incredible self-development tool. We’re going to go to the section of the show with a question. This is from Chris from San Diego. “What are some of the things I can do to be kind to my body?”

Chris, last time when I brought up the question about what would it take for me to respond to my body with kindness. It’s a good question. In the ideal world, you would just be with that rhetorically and see what kinds of things come up. I’ll give you a couple of to-dos. One of the things that you can do is notice your self-talk. Every time you notice that you are having an unkind thought, which for most people is pretty often. You listen to that and you move to a state of observation. You observe those thoughts and you can do a couple of things with the thoughts. One is that you can just watch them float by and do not attach an answer or orchestrate with them at all. The second thing you can do with thoughts is to sink deeper into your body and see where those thoughts are affecting your physical body. That means notice if you have tension in your throat, your chest, your belly or wherever and to be with those feelings again without any about it being good, bad, right or wrong. Become curious. If you start observing the body and all of the complexities and how it’s all intertwined and all of the things that are going all at once, it’s phenomenal.

You became curious and connected to all the things that are happening. You would be on your knees, truly. Another thing that you can do is you can, in the shower, make the shower a place where you have your own personal connection with your body. It could be the bathtub if you’re a bath person. If you spend all of your time in the shower as you are washing your feet, thank your feet for carrying you around as it does. As you scrub every different part of your body, thank it for its strength, for its power, for its connection to all the other parts of your body, to help you get through your day more profoundly than ever before. Go through and put attention and one-pointed focus on every single aspect of your body. That is going to be amazing when you do that and you are present with your body.

Another thing you can do, as long as we’re in the bathroom, you can stand in front of the mirror. At first, you may want to start with your clothes on and you look in the mirror and you say an example, “Chris, I love you.” If your name is Jim, Bill, Sue, Esateys or Rafael, you say your name as you look directly into your own eyes and you say that over and over again. Most people, when they do this and they had allowed themselves to connect to this, they start crying because the body doesn’t know that it’s loved and lovable because it’s dealt with in a very obtuse and usually unconscious way. Your body is an important piece of your life.

You’re not going to get anywhere without it. Once it’s done, you’re done in regard to being in physicality. Who you are never dies. The core of you continues to live, but your body is your vehicle to be with this part of life. Start to be in gratitude and start expressing love to yourself this way. Another thing is to notice when your body’s tired and rest. Rest when it’s tired. Another thing is what we’re speaking about with food. What is your relationship with food and your body? Are you eating unconsciously or are you a conscious eater? Are you eating food that lifts and elevates you? Are you eating stuff that lowers your vibration and creates your body feeling poorly? Wake up to what it is that’s going on and observe and then make a different choice if you don’t like what it is that you’re observing. Those are just a few things. There are many things you can do, but hopefully, you will take these and utilize them on a consistent basis. In doing so, everything between you and your body will shift pretty much instantly.

RDD 38 | Relationship With Food

Relationship With Food: Being aware, connected, and conscious with your relationship to food changes the way you experience life.


That was totally awesome. That list was great. I’m very taken by it. We have one more thing to talk about and that’s our question of the day. Esateys?

I recommend that you ask yourself this question until the next time and you get another question, “What would it take for me to stop eating unconsciously?” I want to reiterate here, perhaps you’re not overweight. That doesn’t have anything to do with eating unconsciously. It’s a part of it for some people. If you’re not overweight, that’s okay. What would it take for you to not eat unconsciously? That means that you are with your food when you eat it. Chew your food twenty times or until it goes into liquid and taste all the different tastes that are available there. See it and feel it go into your body and wash it explode light into your body. I’m willing to bet there’s probably not anyone that has ever done that. It’s amazing what happens when you become conscious of food.

I just wanted to say in closing, we would love to hear from you about how you are enjoying these shows on the body. Whether you want more of that or do you want to go back to pure relationship-type things, which this is. We would like to have your feedback so we can know how best to serve you.

Please share this with your friends. Send them the link so that they can also be exposed to a different way of perceiving every area of their life. Every one of these will shift some or many, maybe even all parts of you. If you’re in a position to be able to do so, take your arms and don’t worry if you feel funny about it, do it anyway. Put your arms around yourself and hug yourself because that’s another thing that’s very supportive. You put your arms around and rub your shoulders, rub your arms and realize that this body is the most amazing experience for you to be able to travel through life with honor, respect, love and treat it like it is the magic carpet that it truly is. Until next time, know that you are loved and that I am you, you are me and we are one.

We’ll see you next time.

Important Links:

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!
Join the Relationships Done Different Community today: